Who's giving you a rash this week? Overpaid player? Underhanded agent? Obnoxious team owner? Some other sports wretch? Well, take your best shot. Sign your name, if you dare.
Just remember, Ray Buck, CBS SportsLine national columnist, has the last word. E-mail your comments to: rbuck@sportsline.com
E-mails over cocktails ... while wondering (along with some readers) how a control freak like Pat Riley can defend a loose cannon like Alonzo Mourning.
Let's begin here:
"Too bad no hungry alligators are lurking."
Buckshot: Lucky for Zo ... because I'm afraid for a lurking alligator, his brain would make a delectable little appetizer.
"You don't applaud when one of your players does something stupid. These guys are being paid good money to act like the stars they are ... not like some of the a--holes they show themselves to be."
Buckshot: Good point, Dennis. Maybe Riles just needed to keep his hands busy. Strangling your $105-million center, generally speaking, is frowned upon by the law.
"P.S. -- Fines for these multi-millionaires should start at $250,000, not a puny 10K or 25K."
Buckshot: Riles does have that look of Camelot, now that you mention it. And Zo looks like a candidate for a cover-up.
"Now you write this trivial article on how he's a whiner because he's upset that his team lost and he sticks up for his best player. That's using common sense, not whining! Pat Riley is the best coach in America, in any sport, you know it and I know it.
"If you're going to call Pat Riley a whiner, then I'm sure every team in every sport in America wishes they had more whiners on their team and in their front office ... but the guess here is that you mistakenly hit your 'h' key and meant to type WINNER!"
Buckshot: Nhice thry, phal.
Buckshot: What? Not break his legs? Don't get soft on crime now, lady.
"I am sure you saw the fight just like most people did, and L.J. (Larry Johnson) blatantly started it with a cheap shot to Zo's injured face. Wouldn't you be pissed?"
Buckshot: Of course. But this occurred in the final 1.4 seconds of Game 4. I think I may have invested some of my $105 million into hiring a person to sit courtside and hold up "reminder" signs, i.e., "Use Your Brain" and "Game 5 -- Be There!"
"Riley, unlike his franchise player Alonzo Mourning, is a master if not purveyor of double-speak.
I would assert that one should not and cannot interpret Riley's recent commentary on the Mourning-Johnson altercation without at least attempting to ascertain his motives for such his punk-speak. Yes, yes, yes, motive assessment can be a frivolous waste of time for those who have deadlines.
"But wouldn't you rather have sound analysis before knee-jerk (though convenient) bromide or pontificating? Well, maybe you wouldn't. You see, as one would assume you'd already know, Riley has always been a calculating SOB. Ruthless, obsessed, manipulative, ruthless. Did I mention ruthless?
"What Riley (supposedly) said to justify Mourning's response was Pat's way of preparing for next season."
Buckshot: No doubt, Riley will have his team ready for next season. Van Gundy had his team ready for Game 5.
"(As for Riley), if Jerry Springer was going to title this, it would be 'Coaches Who Can't Handle Playoff Losses.'"
Buckshot: That's where I've seen this Mourning-Johnson fight before. Staged -- on the Springer show.
"He'll never win another ring."
Buckshot: He will never win another ring ... as long as Zo is his center.
"A hearty 'mute salute' should go to Riley as he goes to tan himself during this free time."
Buckshot: Easy to tan when you're still doing a slow burn.
"(I see Riley as) boxing promoter, i.e., winner this time in the blue trunks ... Knicks and Van Gundy! As always, I have the glasses ... you can pour the whine."
Buckshot: Thanks, Texkan. But I think Riley's hair would stand on end if he had to work with Don King.
"So, it's fitting that the Knicks and Heat brawl with each other every year in the playoffs. They both get a taste of their own medicine."
Buckshot: This year, Heat fans were the ones stuck with a bitter pill to swallow.
"This came as a result of the two NBA World Championship series he had with Chuck Daly and the Detroit Pistons (the original Bad Boys) in 1988 and 1989. The rough actions and the beatings that he and the Lakers took in that series had a tremendous negative effect on his approach to the game. While Daly may be one of the greatest coaches in the game, a lot of the antics you see from Riley now have to be attributed to his experiences with Daly.
"Not that he is right, but that is fact we all must deal with and should not forget. Please respond!"
Buckshot: OK, I will. Chuck Daly? Don't think so. Only Riley is responsible for Riley's irrational comments following Zo's bonehead play.
"Didn't Pat or Zo learn anything from last year's (Knicks-Heat) debacle? I guess not."
Buckshot: That's just moronic.
"I went to (Rochester) McQuaid High School over 25 years ago. That's where Van Gundy had his last head-coaching position. Thanks for sending an appropriate 'whine' to The Cellar."
Buckshot: Van Gundy has never stood so tall as he has this past week. And that's not easy to do.
"Now Coach Riley needs to maintain his integrity. He should apologize to Coach Van Gundy and admonish Mourning."
Buckshot: Won't happen, won't happen.
"Three whiners, three losers!"
(signed) a disgruntled Raiders fan who hates whiners, Chris Ritter
Buckshot: Hey, Chris, lay off Al Davis. It's only May.