By Mike Kahn
CBS SportsLine Executive Editor
Oct. 27, 1998

Immediate responses range from "you've got to be kidding" to "what a bunch of crap!"

When Roy Kramer of the Southeastern Conference devised this Bowl Championship Series for college football in June, we were skeptical. (OK, the line went something like, "Hey Kramer, who helped you come up with this scam, Newman?")

Now it finally happened. As of Monday night, we now know exactly what the BCS rankings look like, and now we're certain it really was Newman who drew up this absurdity. The only other possibility is Kramer had some chips called in and he had to find jobs for a fine group of college football enthusiasts, pronto.

IT ISN'T SO MUCH THAT THE TOP 10 is funky. In fact, the top 16 teams are all the same schools in both the AP and coaches polls, although the order has been altered to various degrees. UCLA, Ohio State, Tennessee and Kansas State remain the teams to beat and have the best shot at playing in the Fiesta Bowl on Jan. 4, which has been deigned the championship game.

And that's exactly the point. Why bother with all this extraneous perspective nobody can figure out to arrive at the same conclusion? If the top 16 teams in the country on the BCS rankings are the same as the other two polls, then it proves there's no point to any of this.

We were far better off just arguing over the two polls. It had become something of a national tradition to deride both the writers and coaches who voted, then complain about who ended up No 1. We all still cared. We all still watched. Some were happy. Some were not. That's what being a sports fan is all about.

This concept is nothing more than an exercise in flagellation by several parties, leading to confusion for the fans.

The first three means of deduction are the two polls and the average of the two polls. Thanks for throwing us a bone from old times. Then we have the computer rankings of the Seattle Times, New York Times, and some college football nut from Boston named Jeff Sagarin who has his own theory. The only computer rankings that are missing now come from High Times.

And that's excluding the obvious. Nowhere in these computer rankings do we have the opinion of Bill Gates? The least he could have done is send us a video deposition of his Top 20. Seriously now, Kramer then tells us to take the average of those the machines used in Seattle, New York and Sagarin. If it's nothing more than computer deduction through input, perhaps we should know what Sagarin and the guys in the computer rooms of those two newspapers are using for input. Maybe they use shredded statistics.

THEN POINTS COME FROM STRENGTH OF schedule based on teams played, teams records, and the losses of all teams involved.

You got it so far?

If you do, you win.

Far more informed minds than those in present company are equally confused. There are plenty of other aspects leaving college football aficionados dumbfounded. They didn't need this, too.

Nowhere in the rankings does Kansas State receive any points for having beaten teams that have defensive linemen without front teeth by the most points.

That should have nudged them ahead of Tennessee, except the Volunteers failed to receive any points for having the prettiest uniforms.

And where in the world does Kramer come off ignoring the fact Ohio State's shoes are way cooler than those worn by UCLA?

C'MON NOW, THIS IS SERIOUS stuff. If we're going to use subtle nuances to devise a plan nobody understands (by design, no doubt), then at least throw in some interesting material. We can let the fans vote on the above on CBS SportsLine, and if some people like the orange of Syracuse better than Tennessee's, so be it.

BYU actually has better shoes than Ohio State, but according to the BCS, neither BYU nor any other school in the Western Athletic Conference even counts. That, too is inexplicable.

Which leads us to the inevitable conclusion. What's the point of this BCS poll? Since the same teams are in the top 16, plus there's no way of figuring out how, when or where teams can move up in the poll, let's can this hunk of garbage and go back to the old method.

Or ... do exactly what everybody wants in the first place. Shorten the regular season and have a 16-team playoff series based on the composite rankings of the two polls.

But that's too easy, and what ever would we do with those computer rankings?