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Two ways of looking at second-half predictions
By Mike Kahn Now that we're at midseason of NFL '98, there are several ways to construe what has happened so far. Some things were expected, some surprising. Others were logical, and many defy logic. But
Forget it. There are two more months of football before we get to the real season, better known as the playoffs. A lot will happen between now and then. Again, a lot of it will be predictable, more of it will just unfold. If we knew everything ahead of time, it wouldn't be any fun. Then again, a lot of times, it's fun to take a shot at what will transpire, and with nine more weeks, it's time to take our best shot at the 10 things we will see during the second half of the NFL season. 1. What we think will happen: Randall Cunningham will continue on his torrid pace and win the Most Valuable Player Award while leading the Minnesota Vikings to their first Super Bowl appearance since 1977 and first victory in five tries. And Fran Tarkenton will be there selling autographed workout equipment and T-shirts. What will really happen: Cunningham will break his vow of accepting the return of starter Brad Johnson like a trooper, it will kill team morale because Johnson isn't as good as Cunningham, and the Vikings will get knocked out in the divisional playoffs. Tarkenton will continue to hawk gym equipment. 2. What we think will happen: Terrell Davis will rush for 2,000 yards, John Elway will pass for 3,000, the Denver Broncos will be a record 19-0 and win their second consecutive Super Bowl despite coach Mike Shanahan's eyes actually popping out of his head. What will really happen: Davis will come close to 2,000 yards, Elway will come close to 3,000, and the Broncos will lose twice before winning their second consecutive Super Bowl. Shanahan's eyes will only have the appearance of popping out of his head. 3. What we think will happen: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers won't score another touchdown the rest of the season, but loyal coach Tony Dungy will stick by inept quarterback Trent Dilfer all the way to a 7-9 season, take the blame himself and destroy the once-promising running game led by Warrick Dunn and Mike Alstott. What will really happen: The Bucs will score at least five touchdowns in the final nine games, Dungy will stick with Dilfer, they'll finish 7-9 and Dunn and Alstott -- along with the rest of the offense -- will be completely demoralized and in need of a total makeover next year. 4. What we think will happen: Troy Aikman will return healthy and help Emmitt Smith gain 1,500 yards rushing and Michael Irvin gain 1,000 in receptions, and rookie coach Chan Gailey will surprisingly lead the Dallas Cowboys to the NFC championship game. What will really happen:Aikman will bounce back decently from his broken collarbone, but Smith will wear down, Irvin will get into an off-the-field scrape and Gailey will be wondering ("Why me Lord?") about the wisdom of leaving Pittsburgh in the first place when the 'Boys fail to make the playoffs for the second year in a row. 5. What we think will happen: The Raiders will make the playoffs for the first time since 1993, thanks to the return of quarterback Jeff George from a torn groin, Napoleon Kaufman will rush for 1,500 yards and owner Al Davis will agree to pay $100 million to refurbish Oakland Alameda Coliseum and sign a new 30-year lease. What will really happen: George will return from the torn groin just fine, but his head remains the same ... divisive in nature. Napoleon will get lost at Waterloo on the way to his 1,500 yards and Davis, well, Davis will try and solve the quandary between expansion teams for Houston or Los Angeles by moving the Raiders back to L.A.
6. What What will really happen: Vinny will fade like he always does, Martin will be so beat up by the end, he'll struggle to have five touchdowns for the season, they'll fail to make the playoffs in their final game again and Parcells will implode in a fit of rage with guppies spewing from his wide girth all over the field. 7. What we think will happen: The Carolina Panthers will rebound from an 0-7 start to finish a respectable 7-9, Steve Beuerlein will once again figure he's won a starting job, and all of this will prevent coach Dom Capers from being fired and complete reconstruction of the franchise. What will really happen: By Week 11, they'll be 0-10, Beuerlein will march into Capers' office and say he doesn't deserve to start anymore, and the rest of the offense will announce the same thing. By Week 14, the entire second unit will be starting, and they'll have no shot at winning game. As for Capers, he'll have no shot either. 8. What we think will happen: Peyton Manning will continue to come on strong for the Colts, looking like the second coming of Johnny Unitas for the Horseshoes. With the help of wide receiver Marvin Harrison and running back Marshall Faulk, they'll even finish 5-4, so 6-10 isn't a total nightmare. What will really happen: Manning will continue to improve, as will Harrison, but Manning will be so battered by Week 14, he'll be moving like Johnny U moves today (at age 65), Faulk will be in a similar state, and coach Jim Mora will be moved to the same expletive-laced tirades that ended his ugly final year in New Orleans. 9. What we think will happen: Da Bears will be back in da playoffs. Finally, coach Dave Wannstedt will prove nice guys (even football coaches) don't have to finish last. Quarterback Erik Kramer will come on with a career year following a scope on his knee, Curtis Enis will begin running over people like he did in college, and they sneak in as a wild-card. What will really happen: They ain't going anywhere and nice football coaches don't win. Kramer will give way to Steve Stenstrom at quarterback and the team will fall apart. As for Enis, he'll run straight back to his cult-like cronies for support as his performance starts to wane. 10. What we think will happen: The Chiefs and Steelers will rise to the occasion and meet in the AFC championship game because of their strong defenses. The intensity of Steelers coach Bill Cowher will lead the Steelers to the Super Bowl, while Chiefs coach Marty Schottenheimer's sober approach will take them to the brink of a Super Bowl again. What will really happen: Neither team is going anywhere, regardless of the diverse personalities of their coaches. The concept that strong defense and a running game wins in the NFL is right out of the Jim Thorpe school of football. Yo guys, they wear facemasks now, and still throw the ball downfield and long snaps aren't just for punters, but they'll actually throw out of the shotgun. And, by the way, the Broncos will beat the Packers again in the Super Bowl. Really. If you missed a CyberSpy column, don't worry, you can catch it in the CyberSpy Archive. Today's other columns |