What is it about today's sports personalities that make us want to slap 'em?
Don King. Donald Fehr. Dennis Rodman. You make us all proud to be Americans. Marge Schott. Jerry Jones. Art Modell. You make us all proud to have time clocks to punch and mortgage payments to meet.
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The former Chris Jackson of Gulfport, Miss., ridiculed his country and refused to stand for the national anthem for Islamic religious reasons. Abdul-Rauf stood his ground long enough to be docked one whole game check worth $31,707, then promptly backed off his position and hustled back to the Denver Nuggets.
Receiving instant reinstatement by the National Basketball Association, Mahmoud merely had to agree to a workable compromise. He will now stand for the 90-second national anthem while he prays to himself. He won't hide in the locker room or do distracting stretching exercises anymore.
The standing part is paramount because it fulfills a contractual obligation, i.e. all NBA players, coaches and trainers shall "stand and line up in a dignified posture" during the singing or playing of the national anthem. Everyone does it, Muslims and non-Muslims alike.
Abdul-Rauf had called this heretofore simple but respectful national tradition "a symbol of oppression, of tyranny." To the SportsLine USA Whine Cellar, Mahmoud, and don't start running the place down. We're not easily amused.
THE WHINE CELLAR APPOINTMENT STANDS even though Abdul-Rauf has changed his tune if not his opinion. "Now I recognize there is a better approach," he said upon his return to the Nuggets Friday.
Whoopee! How can we ever thank you enough, Mahmoud? I guess we can now all stand and celebrate oppression and tyranny together.
While you go back to living off the fat of the land.
The USA may not stand for the United Saints of America. But one thing we do is stand up for what we believe in. The former Chris Jackson of Gulfport, Miss., may think he invented this stand-up attitude, but I believe we've fought a few wars and put our necks on the line more than once over the last 220 years.
"In Islam ... if after making a decision, you see that which is better, you do that," Abdul-Rauf explained.
How unique. Next thing he's going to tell us, "In Islam ... when spotting a rain cloud, we bring an umbrella."
I don't know about you, but I'm up to here with Mahmoud.
HE WHINES, HE WALKS ON his contract and now he reverses his field because -- if I'm reading Houston Rockets star Hakeem Olajuwon correctly -- Abdul-Rauf had become a source of embarrassment, even to many of his fellow believers. The Islamic faith stands for passive explanation, not ill-conceived slips of the tongue.
"In general, Islamic teachings require every Muslim to obey and respect the law of the countries they live in," Olajuwon said. "That is Islamic teachings. To be a good Muslim is to be a good citizen, to be an example."
Olajuwon wouldn't be critical of Abdul-Rauf but said he hopes that his statement did not do irreparable damage to the image of the Islamic faith and the ancient word of the Koran.
"Islamic teachings is to worship none but God," Olajuwon said. "But you respect the flag. You respect and honor America."
That message took a little longer to reach the brain of Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, the former Chris Jackson of Gulfport, Miss., who converted to the Muslim religion in 1991. His Muslim name means elegant and praiseworthy, most merciful, most kind.
But last week, it meant self-appointed watchdog for the world. Said Abdul-Rauf: "I look at the Caucasian American and I look at the African American being oppressed in this county, and I don't stand for that."
WE HAVE A SAYING IN THIS COUNTRY about stones and glass houses, Mahmoud. You may remember it when you were Chris Jackson of Gulfport, Miss. Someone could point out that not every Islamic nation is squeaky clean when it comes to fairness and decency toward other human beings -- theirs or ours.
Abdul-Rauf is playing better than at any time in his life, averaging just under 20 points per game and leading the NBA with 93 percent free-throw shooting. But actually, these are numbers you pretty much expect from a player making $2.6 million per year.
"I'm able to make a lot of money in the United States," Mahmoud obliged himself to say the other day.
Nice to know that stating the obvious is part of his faith, too.
But another problem I have with Abdul-Rauf -- he kept talking. "Am I sorry for (his statements?) Do I feel I'm wrong for doing what I did? No. This is what I believe. I'm not wrong . ..."
Of course not.
"Hello, Mr. Abdul-Rauf? And how do you want that $31,707 today? In hundreds and fifties? Or do you prefer large bills?"
What a country! Yes, even for you, Mahmoud.
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