Despite what Nick Saban, Jimbo Fisher and others have pushed for publicly, college football isn't getting a commissioner. Not now, probably not ever. Of course, that hasn't stopped us from at least spitballing some out-of-the-box candidates, the greatest of which was former Florida and South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier.

These days, Spurrier is spending his time on the golf course and tossing back cold, refreshing adult beverages. Switching from that to running one of the biggest (and certainly most convoluted) sports in this great country doesn't exactly seem like the Head Ball Coach's idea of a good move.

Still, that didn't stop reporters from asking Spurrier whether (a) there should be a commissioner in college football and (b) he would be interested in assuming such a role.

Spurrier naturally answered the questions in true Spurrier fashion.

His initial answer is the best. "That sounds like a lot of work." Right you are, Steve. A commissioner would have to deal in heavy matters such as media rights deals, rules and discipline. Speaking of which, Spurrier managed to drop in an Ole Miss jab when expanding on the numerous responsibilities a commissioner would undertake.

That said, can you imagine Spurrier giving speeches on new "league" polices?

Waylp, we're thinkin' about granting five-win teams automatic bowl eligibility, which will be good news for Kentucky.

Spurrier is just the right degree of snarky, and college football is just weird enough, that a pairing like this would perfect. Plus, he's proven throughout his career that he actually cares about things important to college football fans like rivalries, fairness and the welfare of players.

Of course, it should be noted that "perfect" in this sense doesn't ultimately mean "good."

Would a Spurrier-for-commissioner initiative actually fix college football's numerous problems? Probably not. But if you're going fire this sport into the sun, at least bring a case of beer and play your best mixtape for the trip.