Power Rankings: All 21 tweets from Jim Harbaugh's new Twitter account

Are you not entertained? (by Jim Harbaugh's Twitter feed?) (USATSI)
Are you not entertained? (by Jim Harbaugh's Twitter feed?) (USATSI)

Once upon a time, the best non-Rich Brooks Twitter feed for any college football coach, hands-down, belonged to Stanford's Jim Harbaugh. Then Harbaugh jumped to the pros, shut things down, and the world was all the poorer for it.

So among the many reasons to be thrilled Harbaugh is back in the college ranks -- a competitive series with Ohio State, an improved Big Ten, a truly neverending abundance of khaki-based jokes -- is that his return to Michigan has also brought about his return to Twitter. Here are all 21 tweets from his recently-debuted official account, power-ranked according to, you know, Power:


An easy choice for No. 1, this tweet nonetheless isn't what we'd call a Jim Harbaugh original -- his father, Jack, would advise his sons to attack their days with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind when he dropped them off at elementary school. Which, knowing what we know about the Harbaughs, kind of explains a lot.

In any case: this was the moment at which the phrase "Enthusiasm Unknown to Mankind" entered the college football meme-lexicon, and after 7,000 retweets, it probably isn't leaving until Harbaugh does. 


And yet I can't help but feeling that without that final exclamation point following Emerson, which would have made it stone-cold perfect, this wasn't this tweet's best effort.


Could this tweet -- and its deployment of "firepower!" to describe the work of the university's Vice President for Student Life -- be any more Harbaugh? No. None more Harbaugh.


As noted elsewhere, what seems like an innocuous message of congratulations to Harbaugh's former colleagues may actually be a subtle kiss-off the former 49ers lieutenant who replaced him. Not sure if The Art of War included a chapter on proper social media usage or not, but if it did ... 


Nothing says, "I'm not the maniacally obsessed coaching android I'm made out to be, and also, to my wife: you're awesome and our marriage is awesome," like spending your second-ever tweet on your microscopically-analyzed new Twitter account on an anniversary notice.


Superman: bullets :: Jim Harbaugh tweets : satire


You will appreciate that Harbaugh is a well-rounded individual who -- like his football program -- has interests outside of football and like it, Twitter followers. (Also, that "...and me" tag? Legitimately funny.)


This is that rare Twitter account so unfailingly earnest it's more excited about who it's following than who's following it. (Also, bonus points awarded for the inclusion of "@Pontifex," which is quietly the world's most badass-sounding Twitter handle for a major religious leader. You know there's a black metal band out there somewhere who's ticked that 1. they didn't think of "Pontifex" first 2. it was the Pope that thought of it first.)


This tweet was attacked with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind.


Shocking lack of exclamation points in this one but that's made up for by the inevitable Awwwwwww! your brain makes in response.


Chris Sabo! That's cool! But if it's that bright out, guys, you might want to just take the picture inside next time. (Also: no sunglasses or anything? You'd think Sabo, of all people, would know the value of protective eyewear.)


There's several "welcome to new staff member X" tweets coming up on this list. None of the rest of them quite have the Harbaugh charm of capping a boilerplate sentence like, "he is a proven leader that will get the best out of our secondary," with an exclamation point, sadly, making this the best of the bunch.


How long do you think it would take Harbaugh to hire Taggart if he's fired by USF after a third straight losing season? Seven seconds? 12?


"Why, yes, I recruited and developed Andrew Luck, thanks for asking. What was that? 'How far away is National Signing Day?' Why, I don't have any idea. I was just mentioning my former pupil Andrew Luck following his appearance in the AFC Championship Game, that's all."


In retrospect, kind of surprisingly subdued first tweet, considering what came after. Have to appreciate the "our football building will have the same convivial atmosphere of an Old West general store" vibe here, though.


"Should be?"



Retweeted, because apparently Harbaugh is taking this following @Pontifex thing seriously. (If you're wondering, nothing's really happening in Sri Lanka and the Phillipines at the moment; the Pope's just visiting.)


Tweets that could have been tweeted by anyone are not as powerful as your usual tweets, Mr. Harbaugh.

UPDATE: Whether this article was published at midnight, 2 p.m., 6 a.m., whenever, we all understood and accepted that Harbaugh was going to tweet again within seconds of its publication. Ta da!

Teeley is a champion rower, so nice to see it's not all World Series baseball players and iconic football coaches round here. Consider this tweet slotted somewhere between 13-17 on the Power Rankings.

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