Power Rankings: All 21 tweets from Jim Harbaugh's new Twitter account
In which all 21 tweets from Jim Harbaugh's new must-follow Twitter account are power-ranked.
Once upon a time, the best non-Rich Brooks Twitter feed for any college football coach, hands-down, belonged to Stanford's Jim Harbaugh. Then Harbaugh jumped to the pros, shut things down, and the world was all the poorer for it.
So among the many reasons to be thrilled Harbaugh is back in the college ranks -- a competitive series with Ohio State, an improved Big Ten, a truly neverending abundance of khaki-based jokes -- is that his return to Michigan has also brought about his return to Twitter. Here are all 21 tweets from his recently-debuted official account, power-ranked according to, you know, Power:
Attacking this day with Enthusiasm Unknown to Mankind— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 15, 2015
An easy choice for No. 1, this tweet nonetheless isn't what we'd call a Jim Harbaugh original -- his father, Jack, would advise his sons to attack their days with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind when he dropped them off at elementary school. Which, knowing what we know about the Harbaughs, kind of explains a lot.
In any case: this was the moment at which the phrase "Enthusiasm Unknown to Mankind" entered the college football meme-lexicon, and after 7,000 retweets, it probably isn't leaving until Harbaugh does.
"Anything less than a man's best effort cheats himself! Demeans him! Spoils him! Ruins him! Cheapens him! Emerson— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 16, 2015
And yet I can't help but feeling that without that final exclamation point following Emerson, which would have made it stone-cold perfect, this wasn't this tweet's best effort.
Excited to Team up with VP Royster Harper and Dean Laura Blake Jones and learn from their intellectual and leadership firepower!— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 15, 2015
Could this tweet -- and its deployment of "firepower!" to describe the work of the university's Vice President for Student Life -- be any more Harbaugh? No. None more Harbaugh.
Congrats to Bears, Raiders, Bills, Great Coaches and men, John Fox, Jack Del Rio, Rex! And Home Run hires Vic Fangio, Brad Seely, Greg Roman— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 21, 2015
As noted elsewhere, what seems like an innocuous message of congratulations to Harbaugh's former colleagues may actually be a subtle kiss-off the former 49ers lieutenant who replaced him. Not sure if The Art of War included a chapter on proper social media usage or not, but if it did ...
Happy anniversary to me and my lovely wife Sarah!— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 5, 2015
Nothing says, "I'm not the maniacally obsessed coaching android I'm made out to be, and also, to my wife: you're awesome and our marriage is awesome," like spending your second-ever tweet on your microscopically-analyzed new Twitter account on an anniversary notice.
Life at Michigan is Great! Great with a capital "G!"— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 14, 2015
Superman: bullets :: Jim Harbaugh tweets : satire
Some of the top academic minds in the world: Mark Rosentraub, Erica Sanders, Esrold Nurse, Alec Gallimore... and me pic.twitter.com/wqmQMrFxN1— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 17, 2015
You will appreciate that Harbaugh is a well-rounded individual who -- like his football program -- has interests outside of football and like it, Twitter followers. (Also, that "...and me" tag? Legitimately funny.)
Now following Pope Francis @Pontifex. Go Blue!— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 8, 2015
This is that rare Twitter account so unfailingly earnest it's more excited about who it's following than who's following it. (Also, bonus points awarded for the inclusion of "@Pontifex," which is quietly the world's most badass-sounding Twitter handle for a major religious leader. You know there's a black metal band out there somewhere who's ticked that 1. they didn't think of "Pontifex" first 2. it was the Pope that thought of it first.)
Have a Great day! A Great week! A Great month! and a Great year! and Go Blue!— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 10, 2015
This tweet was attacked with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind.
Special guests to Schembechler Hall, my College Coach Jerry Hanlon and my Dad Jack Harbaugh. Doesn't get any better pic.twitter.com/SagGULtlYT— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 15, 2015
Shocking lack of exclamation points in this one but that's made up for by the inevitable Awwwwwww! your brain makes in response.
Fellow Michigan Alum everywhere. 17 year MLB player, Chris Sabo training future stars at IMG Academy! pic.twitter.com/0pQWeJVZ8C— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 23, 2015
Chris Sabo! That's cool! But if it's that bright out, guys, you might want to just take the picture inside next time. (Also: no sunglasses or anything? You'd think Sabo, of all people, would know the value of protective eyewear.)
Thrilled that Greg Jackson's plane landed in Ann Arbor! He is a proven leader that will get the best out of our secondary!— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 15, 2015
There's several "welcome to new staff member X" tweets coming up on this list. None of the rest of them quite have the Harbaugh charm of capping a boilerplate sentence like, "he is a proven leader that will get the best out of our secondary," with an exclamation point, sadly, making this the best of the bunch.
In Bradenton, the home of Willie Taggart. Forever proud of my 1st recruit and lifelong friend. Go Blue! Go Bulls! pic.twitter.com/BfU5IigG42— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 22, 2015
How long do you think it would take Harbaugh to hire Taggart if he's fired by USF after a third straight losing season? Seven seconds? 12?
In The "H" brings back wonderful memories. Andrew Luck, Michael Thomas, Cameron Fleming, Jordan Najvar, Taylor Skaufel n Austin Yancy, Next?— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 20, 2015
"Why, yes, I recruited and developed Andrew Luck, thanks for asking. What was that? 'How far away is National Signing Day?' Why, I don't have any idea. I was just mentioning my former pupil Andrew Luck following his appearance in the AFC Championship Game, that's all."
Doors are open at Schembechler Hall. Look forward to getting knee-to-knee with the current team. Players, stop by and say hi!— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 2, 2015
In retrospect, kind of surprisingly subdued first tweet, considering what came after. Have to appreciate the "our football building will have the same convivial atmosphere of an Old West general store" vibe here, though.
Great to have Kevin Tolbert back in the Maize and Blue! Winter conditioning should be very productive!— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 12, 2015
Excited to be working with a longtime coaching colleague, Greg Mattison. His track record speaks for itself!— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 12, 2015
Great day for Michigan Football! Reunited with a tremendous coach in D.J. Durkin!— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 8, 2015
Another great day for the Wolverines! Back together with an outstanding coach in Tim Drevno!— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 9, 2015
To my friends in Sri Lanka and the Philippines: May God bless you all! Please pray for me.— Pope Francis (@Pontifex) January 19, 2015
Retweeted, because apparently Harbaugh is taking this following @Pontifex thing seriously. (If you're wondering, nothing's really happening in Sri Lanka and the Phillipines at the moment; the Pope's just visiting.)
Beautiful Polk County... Lakeland, one of favorite spots!— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 21, 2015
Tweets that could have been tweeted by anyone are not as powerful as your usual tweets, Mr. Harbaugh.
UPDATE: Whether this article was published at midnight, 2 p.m., 6 a.m., whenever, we all understood and accepted that Harbaugh was going to tweet again within seconds of its publication. Ta da!
Great to visit today with a Michigan All American and 2002 World Champion, Bernadette Marlen Teeley pic.twitter.com/DqvVaaeGak— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) January 23, 2015
Teeley is a champion rower, so nice to see it's not all World Series baseball players and iconic football coaches round here. Consider this tweet slotted somewhere between 13-17 on the Power Rankings.
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