WATCH: Ranking quotes from Mike Leach's epic 'participation trophies' rant

Washington State coach Mike Leach gives colorful quotes when he's in a good mood. He'll break out a history lesson unsolicited or offer a unique take on philosophy, play to a crowd and relish in the opportunity to banter a little.

When Leach is mad, he's just as quotable, arguably even more so. Furious with the Cougars' 0-2 start, Leach went on a lengthy rant about the quality of competitors he has seen on the field.

We've power-ranked the greatest hits from the rant with comments. Check out the greatest hits video below, courtesy of Q13 Fox Sports in Seattle.

5. "If you want to be nice to them and all this 'Kumbaya' crap, that doesn't work."

Put the guitar away, extinguish the campfire and get out the Twitter video, Leach is about to get cooking.

4. "Right now we have the atmosphere of a Jaycee softball team. That's what we are, just a Jaycee softball team."

This is the kind of comment that Leach might offer in jest, get a few laughs from the media and move on with a more routine address. Little did the reporters know what was about to happen.

3. "This business of pretending we're playing hard, and we're not, pretending we're playing as hard as our opponent, and we're not. There's going to be a price to pay."

Leach shows his frustration with the players in this comment, with the "pretending" reminiscent of his infamous "zombie" critique from 2012.

"Some of them have had kind of this zombie-like, go through the motions, everything is like how it's always been, that's how it'll always be," Leach said of his seniors at the time. "Some of them quite honestly have an empty corpse quality."

2. "It's not whether you win or lose, it's the team that has the most fun. All the crap like that. All the stuff that's contaminated America where they give everyone a trophy and don't keep score in little league anymore."

This is great stuff, hitting on the "wussification of America" themes that resonate strongly with many. Leach uses this note to transition from what's wrong with America to what's wrong with Washington State, a team that has lost twice and doesn't seem to be having much fun.

1. "I've got receivers running routes that don't even resemble anything we teach. We don't tuck the ball and go straight upfield, we do all these stupid moves. We run out of bounds more than any team in the country. We're the easiest team in the country to tackle. Defensively, we don't run our feet on contact. We don't on offense either. We don't like to run and hit, and this is a game for running and hitting."

This is just a well-documented coach's list of complaints, shared with the media, absent the expletives that I'm sure were included when this same list was shared with the assistant coaches after reviewing film.

Leach concluded his rant with a promise: "Their life's going to change and they know it," Leach said, "and it's going to change for the rest of the season."

CBS Sports Writer

Chip Patterson has spent his young career covering college sports from the Old North State. He's been writing and talking about football and basketball for CBS Sports since 2010. You may have heard him... Full Bio

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