Shelby Miller is one of Adam Aizer's buy-low targets. (USATSI)
Shelby Miller is one of Adam Aizer's buy-low targets (USATSI)

Now is the time to buy low. And if you are in a league with me now is the time to sell low ... to me ... right now ... let's do this.

Here are some players I want to take from your teams and put on my teams. You can have my backup closer. Give me ...

Homer Bailey: I anticipate a good start tomorrow at the Cubs, so let's go ahead and make this trade now. In 2012 Bailey had an ERA of 6.00 or higher in two separate months. He finished 2012 with 13 wins and a 3.68 ERA. In 2013 the strikeouts came. In 2014 I buy low on him. You trade me Homer Bailey, I will give you Jon Lester.

Shelby Miller: So after Wednesday's Quality Start (seriously, if this is a "Quality Start" don't we need to either come up with a new standard or come up with a new name? How about a "Kept His Team In The Ballgame Start?") people might be ready to give up on Miller, especially with his lackluster finish in 2013. But I still think the stuff is good enough. He had nearly a strikeout per inning last year, and I believe in him. You trade me Shelby Miller, I will give you Scott Kazmir.

Adam Jones: This guy is as consistent as it gets, and he has gotten better and better in recent years. Come to think of it, I guess that's even better than being consistent. Jones has hit only one HR so far. And guess what ... he's gonna hit the other 25-30 HRs on my team after we make this deal. You trade me Adam Jones. I'll give you Carlos Gomez.

Pablo Sandoval: OK, now this one is for the deeper leagues. I don't really like Sandoval that much but he has authored completely awesome woot-woot-you're-my-hero seasons in 2009 and 2011 (in only 117 games). He is better than this garbage. Sandoval also reportedly wants a $100 million contract, which means he and I have a lot in common. I'd like to buy him in a league where there are no good Waiver Wire options. You trade me Pablo Sandoval. I'll give you only someone that I have no use for and I don't think could break out. So, not very helpful here. Sorry!

Raisinets: I stand by this candy, even if I'm the last person on Earth to do so. Let's see if I am getting this concept ... You like chocolate. And you like raisins. BUT YOU DON'T LIKE RAISINETS!? That makes less than no sense. You trade me Raisinets. I'll give you any of the following: Sweet Tarts, Runts, Milky Way (you heard me), Rolos, Twizzlers, broccoli. 

Pleasure doing business with you.

Show Comments Hide Comments
CBS Sports Shop
MLB Opening Day
Our Latest Stories
    Jonah Keri Podcast