Caddyshack, the greatest golf movie of all-time, was released 35 years ago today. I'm not here to listen to your arguments for Tin Cup, Happy Gilmore, The Legend of Bagger Vance or any other golf movies. No, this is a time for celebration and remembering the best moments from a movie filled with a seemingly endless number of quotable lines and memorable scenes.
Narrowing Caddyshack down to 10 scenes or quotes was extremely difficult, and that's part of why it's so great. Everyone has their own favorite lines, moments and characters -- I, myself, am a Carl Spackler man -- so hopefully we can agree on at least a few of these.
10. Dancing Gopher
9. Ty Webb Pickup Lines
Webb: "What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape. How come you're here?"
This is one of the most repeated lines from the movie. If you lead with this and a girl comes back with, "I bet you have a lot of nice ties," you have to marry her right there on the spot. Those are the rules.
8. "Varmint Cong"
Carl Spackler: "Licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. A man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit -- ever. They're like the Viet Cong -- Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote."
As I said earlier, Spackler is my favorite character in the movie. Of all his gopher related ramblings, this is by far my favorite.
7. Carl Spackler: Weather Man.
Spackler: "I'd keep playing. I don't think the heavy stuff's going to come down for quite a while."
Any golfer that's tried to play through a rain storm has repeated this line while doing their best impression of Spackler.
6. "Well, we're waiting..."
5. Al Czervik one-liners
There are too many to pick out just one from Rodney Dangerfield's eccentric Al Czervik, so here are some of my favorite one-liners he delivered.
"I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, OK?"
"Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it."
*drops anchor through Judge Smails boat* "Hey, you scratched my anchor!"
"Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity."
"So what? So let's dance!"
4. "You're a tremendous slouch"
Judge Smails: "You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself."
Ty Webb: "Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch."
Another beauty from Chevy Chase.
3. "Kill the Gophers"
Sandy: "I want you to kill every gopher on the course!"
Carl Spackler: "Check me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key..."
Sandy: "Gophers, ya great git! Not golfers! The little brown furry rodents!"
Carl Spackler: "We can do that... we don't even have to have a reason."
I debated this and No. 2 below as my favorite Spackler moment. It's just so perfectly delivered.
2. The Cinderella Story
Carl Spackler: "Tears in his eyes, I guess, as he lines up this last shot. He's got about 195 yards left, looks like he's got about an 8-iron. This crowd has gone deathly silent. Cinderalla story. Out of nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion."
"It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole!"
This is the scene that comes to mind first when I think of Caddyshack. Just Carl Spackler destroying flowers while commentating his own fantasy round at Augusta National where he hits a 450 yard 2-iron and a 350 yard 4-iron. This is the first scene that comes to my mind, but it is not my favorite. That belongs to:
1. This guy
I'm not sure there's ever been an actor that's nailed his only scene in a movie -- much less one without a line -- better than this guy. It's perfect.