Cardinals land finishing move on Phils, retain EOB heavyweight title

Here's proof that the Cardinals have once again retained the EOB Heavyweight Championship. (AP/EOB)

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On Saturday night, the Cardinals blanked the Phillies 5-0 at Citizens Bank Park on the strength of Lance Lynn's arm and or figure-four leglock. In doing so, they clinched at least an even split in the four-game series that concludes Sunday. In doing that, they ensured -- and this is the really big news -- that they'll retain the coveted Eye On Baseball Heavyweight Championship.

What's that? That's this ...

Since the concept of championship belts is cool in boxing, MMA and sports entertainment (aka pro wrestling), the Eye on Baseball team has decided to create a Heavyweight Championship belt for the 2013 season.

As the defending World Series champions, the Giants entered the season with the strap. From there, here are our rules.

1. A team must win a series from the champion to take the belt. One game isn't going to cut it, considering it's a 162-game season and teams all view the season in terms of series.

2. If the belt-holder splits a series (two- or four-game series), it retains. Much like on a draw in boxing or a count-out situation in pro wrestling, you don't get the belt unless you actually beat the champion. A tie isn't good enough.

3. If, at the end of the regular season, the belt-holder does not make the playoffs -- and due to the dynamics of this thing, that scenario is entirely plausible -- said team will be stripped of the title for not qualifying for the postseason. Then the winner of the playoffs -- the World Series -- takes the belt and the title into the offseason.

Next up for the champion Cardinals? A trip to D.C. to face the Nationals in a rematch of last season's heart-pumping NLDS, which the Cardinals won in five games. At stake? The belt and the title. Foreign objects? Permitted! You know, bats and balls and gloves and stuff.

Now let's take it to the big board to review the short but glorious history of the Eye On Baseball Heavyweight Championship ...

The above calendar reflects the fact that, by winning Saturday, the Cardinals are guaranteed to keep the belt (and the title, of course) through at least Monday.

Meanwhile, the hostilities and intrigue mount ...

CBS Sports Writer

Dayn Perry has been a baseball writer for CBS Sports since early 2012. Prior to that, he wrote for and He's the author of three books, the most recent being Reggie Jackson: The... Full Bio

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