2015 NFL All-Suspension Team: Tom Brady, Greg Hardy lead the way
There's so many suspended players in the NFL this year that CBS Sports decided to make a team.
There are so many suspended players in the NFL this year that we here at CBS Sports decided to make an All-Suspension Team.
There's only one rule for being on the All-Suspension Team: You have to be suspended.
Some guys on the team have been suspended for one game of the upcoming season, others have been suspended for four games and there's even one player who's suspended for the entire year.
Oh, and there is one other rule: You have to be good.
What do we mean by that?
Well, there's stiff competition to be on the All-Suspension Team, we can't take just anyone.
For instance, on the defensive line, there are a total of seven suspended players, but we couldn't take them all because we're trying to put together an actual team here. You can't start seven defensive linemen in the NFL and expect your defense to be any good, so we're not putting seven defensive linemen on the team.
Basically, this means that guys like Dion Jordan, who's suspended for the entire season, isn't listed on the All-Suspension Team because he wasn't good enough to make the cut. Jordan has, without a doubt, taken the term "draft bust" to a whole new level.
The guys that were good enough to make the All-Suspension team have combined for a total of 25 Pro Bowls. The All-Suspension Team also includes four players who were top-15 picks in the NFL Draft and one player who was a defensive rookie of the year.
Overall, the 21 players on the team will lose a combined $8.98 million in salary in 2015 for the games they're suspended.
If Brady should somehow get his suspension reduced to zero, then he'll be suspended from the All-Suspension Team because we can't have a non-suspended player on the All-Suspension team.
Still with me? Great.
Let's meet the NFL's 2015 All-Suspension Team, starting with the front office (yes, there's a front office).
General Manager: Ray Farmer, Browns (four games) -- Because of Farmer's text-related suspension and Brady's destroyed cell phone, it's probably best for everyone if no one on the All-Suspension Team owns a cell phone.
OL coach: Aaron Kromer, Bills (six-game suspension) -- The good news? The All-Suspension Team has an offensive line coach. The bad news? The All-Suspension Team only has three offensive lineman for Kromer to coach. Due to the unavailability of an actual NFL coach, Kromer will also serve as the All-Suspension Team's defacto head coach.
QB: Tom Brady, Patriots (four games) -- The All-Suspension Team does not have any equipment managers, so if Brady's balls end up deflated, we know who did it. (Highlights: 10 Pro Bowls, four-time Super Bowl winner, two-time NFL MVP)
RB: <strong>Le'Veon Bell</strong>, Steelers (two games) -- Bell and All-Suspension teammate LeGarrette Blount are not allowed to ride to All-Suspension practice together. (Highlight: One Pro Bowl)
RB: Ahmad Bradshaw, free agent (one game): The All-Suspension Team is short on offensive linemen, so we've added a third running back. (Highlight: Two Super Bowl rings)
OL: <strong>Craig Watts</strong>, Chargers (two games in 2015) -- Watts was actually suspended in 2014, but was only able to serve two games out of his four-game suspension before the 2014 season ended.
OL (Added 8/11): Bobby Massie, Cardinals, (three games) -- Meet the newest member of the team: Bobby Massie. Massie must have heard about the All-Suspension team's depth problems at O-line because just hours after the All-Suspension story was published on Aug. 11, Massie's three game suspension was announced. Massie has started 32 games on the Cards O-line since 2012.
WR (Added 8/18): Jerome Simpson, 49ers (Six games) -- Simpson is practically a regular on the All-Suspension team. Since being drafted by the Bengals in 2008, Simpson has been suspended a total of three times, including this year. If Tom Brady's suspension gets rescinded, look for Simpson to get promoted to All-Suspension offensive captain, he has the suspension experience, having been suspended in 2012, 2014 and now 2015.
NOTE: Since there aren't any specialists suspended, this team will always go for two and never punt.
DL: <strong>Sheldon Richardson</strong>, Jets (four games) -- If football doesn't work out, might be able to start a drag racing team with Marcell Dareus. (Highlights: One Pro Bowl, 2013 Defensive Rookie of the Year, 13th overall pick in 2013 NFL Draft)
LB: <strong>Rolando McClain</strong>, Cowboys (four games) -- July 2 was basically draft day for the All-Suspension Team as McClain, Richardson and Gates were all handed their suspensions on the same day. (Highlight: Eighth overall pick in 2010 NFL Draft)
LB (Added 8/12): Daryl Washington, Cardinals (Indefinite, can apply for reinstatement now): Thanks to a commenter's great suggestion, we've added Washington to the All-Suspension team. We clearly forgot to reach out to him because he was suspended so long ago that we actually forgot he was suspended. Washington was originally suspended on May 30, 2014 and hasn't played since.
DB: <strong>Sean Smith</strong>, Chiefs (three games) -- Since he's one of the best corners in the NFL, we're going to give Sean Smith an important job on the All-Suspension Team: He gets to pick out the team's hats. (Highlight: 100-yard interception return for a TD in 2013)
Gruden: CB Bashaud Breeland out 4-6 weeks with knee injury; "best-case scenario" after scary scene on practice field yesterday.— #SkinsCamp (@Redskins) August 1, 2015
DB: LaRon Landry, free agent (10 games)-- Hardy might be the captain of the defense, but he doesn't get to design the team's lifting regimen. That's Landry's job. (Highlights: One Pro Bowl, sixth overall pick in 2007 NFL Draft)
Pick Six Newsletter
Get the day's big stories + fun stuff you love like mock drafts, picks and power rankings.
Thanks for signing up!
Keep an eye on your inbox for the latest sports news.
There was an error processing your subscription.
Bell will play under the franchise tag for the second consecutive season
The NFL reportedly won't take any further action against Keim
The future Hall of Famer doesn't sound like he wants to chase a ring elsewhere
The Packers QB likes the idea of tying his value to a percentage of the cap, but good luck...
The move puts Cooks among the top wide receivers in the NFL in terms of salary
After a lengthy period of time away from football, the former second-round pick is back