The Bears' season ended Sunday with a 38-10 loss to the Vikings, which means they finished the season with a 3-13 record, which means they'll pick third in the 2017 NFL Draft, which means they're definitely bound for the Super Bowl next year.
The first three parts of that sentence are totally accurate -- the Bears really did lose their 13th game Sunday, and they really do own a top-three pick in the draft -- but that last part about the Super Bowl needs to be attributed to Bears receiver Alshon Jeffery.
Jeffery said so after their season finale.
Alshon Jeffery: "I guarantee you we are going to win the Super Bowl next year." #Bears— Adam Hoge (@AdamHoge) January 1, 2017
So, that can be interpreted a couple of different ways.
One, Jeffery is crazy. Two, Jeffery's brain broke briefly. Three, that was actually Jeffery's clever way of saying he's going to return to the Bears (he's scheduled to become a free agent this offseason). Four, that was Jeffery's clever way of saying he's going to sign with a Super Bowl contender instead of re-signing with the Bears.
Actually, we can rule out No. 3 and No. 4.
Alshon Jeffery says he's a Bear, but the contract stuff is 'up to Mr Pace and my agent'— Patrick Finley (@patrickfinley) January 1, 2017
So, Jeffery likely meant that the Bears are actually going to the Super Bowl next year. It isn't his first time saying something like that. He said something similar when the Bears' 2016 schedule came out.
First game in Houston! I like that, lets finish in Houston!!! #BearDown 2/5/17— Alshon Jeffery (@TheWorldof_AJ) April 15, 2016
So, there's really only one way to respond to Jeffery's bold prediction.
In all seriousness, the Bears do appear to be on the right track. For the first time in ages, they hit on multiple draft picks in pass-rusher Leonard Floyd, center Cody Whitehair, and running back Jordan Howard. If not for some awful injury luck -- Matt Barkley was their quarterback down the stretch -- the Bears could've experienced a decent year.
But they're still a long ways off from a Super Bowl. They don't have a long-term quarterback on the roster and their secondary is not filled with NFL-caliber players.
Those are somewhat important positions.