Here's who should play Tom Brady, Roger Goodell in the Deflategate movie
It's time to play casting director for Hollywood's next big sports movie
Tom Bradyâs Deflategate comeback story is getting the Hollywood treatment.
The Super Bowl MVPâs fall from grace and ensuing revenge tour to lead the Patriots to an unfathomable 25-point comeback win in Super Bowl LI over the Falcons is being written for the screen by Oscar-nominated writers Paul Tamasy and Eric Johnson. The duo previously teamed to write âPatriots Dayâ and âThe Fighter,â which both star Brady superfan Mark Wahlberg.The premise of the script begins in January 2014 when the Deflategate scandal first broke following the AFC Championship Game.
So who plays Brady in the movie? Or supervillain Roger Goodell?
We decided to play casting director to hand out roles for what promises to be a feel-good movie that all of
America New England can get behind.
And, no, Marky Mark doesnât get to play Brady -- though heâs in the movie.
Hereâs our cast:
Timothy Olyphant as Tom Brady
Yeah, we know, Matt Damon, you want to play Brady. Brady even said once you should play him in a movie. And, yeah, we hear you, too, Ben Affleck. True -- youâve got a great chin dimple, just like your boy, Tommy. But neither of you are pulling this role off.
For one, Matt, youâre generously listed at 5-foot-10, even though, letâs be honest, you look like youâre about 5-foot-8 in a helmet and pads. This was painfully obvious when you went on Jimmy Kimmel pretending to be Brady.
And, you, Ben, well, youâre just too obvious of a casting call. We get it: All you Boston guys love Brady. We see you, too, Chris Evans.
But Olyphant, whoâs criminally underrated in Hollywood, just oozes Brady. Heâs tallish -- 6 feet -- and skinny, just like Brady. And heâs also got those sinister eyes, which are perfect for this revenge flick.
Sean Spicer as Roger Goodell
No, not Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer, though that would be so meta. Weâre talking about the real âSpiceyâ here. This is the role of a lifetime for Donald Trumpâs White House press secretary -- whenever the president decides heâs had enough of all those SNL skits.
If youâre looking for a fun web-based experience, we recommend you search Twitter for âRoger Goodell looks likeâ and youâre sure to find some interesting casting ideas. But Spicer gets the role here, for one, because heâs already got Goodell down pat when it comes to making pronouncements that pull an end-around on facts. Heck, Goodell basically invented #alternativefacts.
"The Patriots are off to one of the best starts in Super Bowl history." - @seanspicer— Mark Takano (@RepMarkTakano) February 6, 2017
Bill Paxton as Bill Belichick
Casting Belichick is a tough call. We liked this suggestion â¦
â¦ but Anne Ramsey died in 1988, back when Belichick was winning Super Bowls with the Giants. So, weâre giving Paxton the role. Like Belichick, heâs a master technician whoâs constantly adapting. Heâs been an astronaut, a tornado chaser, a Mormon polygamist and pretty much everyone imaginable in 93 film and TV acting credits, so weâre pretty sure he can pull off The Hoodie.
Bradley Cooper as Julian Edelman
Thereâs probably no shortage of hunk-ish Hollywood leading men who could play Edelman, but weâre going with Cooper here because, like Mr. Burger Tyme himself, he can grow one helluva beard.
Mark Wahlberg as Danny Amendola
Speaking of burgers ... Marky Mark already played a quick, athletic NFL wide receiver in âInvincibleâ so we know he can pull this off. And both of these guys have model-level good looks.
Danny Amendola Gets FIERCE at NYC Fashion Show (PHOTO GALLERY + VIDEO) https://t.co/Hq2tVBjfTMâ Cam Models Charlesto (@CamModelsChs) February 14, 2017
Marky Mark (Mark Wahlberg) - Calvin Klein (1992) pic.twitter.com/bdkDdquOtE— 90s Heart Throbs (@90sHeartThrobs) April 17, 2016
Also, no way Wahlberg isnât appearing in this movie, since he was the star of two previous films written Paul Tamasy and Eric Johnson, including the Oscar-nominated âThe Fighter.â
Channing Tatum as Rob Gronkowski
Tatum has been preparing his entire life for this role. Although, this is only contingent on if Gronk canât play himself in the movie because heâs got a party cruise scheduled or something. We already know Gronk can act.
But Tatum isnât a terrible backup. He played football in high school and was voted most athletic and, like Gronk, he loves to take his shirt off.
Michael Che as Martellus Bennett
Michael Che, best known for his Weekend Update gig on âSaturday Night Live,â is from New York, so he might balk at playing a hated Patriot. But Gronk canât have all the laughs in this picture.
50 Cent as James White
50 is perfect for this role, as long as heâs not actually required to throw anything.
Jennifer Carpenter as Gisele Bundchen
Câmon, you gotta admit that Brady resembles Dexter just a little bit.
Nonso Anozie as LeGarrette Blount
Nonzo Anozie is a British actor, so he probably likes âthe otherâ football, but he sure looks like a guy who knows how to pound the rock at the goal line.
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