Jerod Mayo has the perfect gift for your mayo-loving Patriots pals

Because regular mayo wasn't bad enough. (USATSI)
Because regular mayo wasn't bad enough. (

I bring you unfortunate news this fifth day of December, 2013.


The mayonnaise business is expanding.


Who do we thank for this development?


Mayo. Jerod Mayo.




The Patriots linebacker is attached to three new flavors -- available for one Alexander Hamilton bill -- of gourmet mayo. They are as follows: Kickin' Buffalo, Bruisin' Bacon, Crushin' Chipotle.


Aside from their blatant disrespect toward the letter g, the three mayos were introduced to this universe by PLB Sports, a company that bills itself as "your premier source for athlete-endorsed, quality food products."


Some of PLB's other lines include:


  • Brett "The Diesel" Keisel Salsa
  • Miggy's Salsa (Miguel Cabrera)
  • Ed Mcaffrey's Rocky Mountain Horseradish
  • Peyton Hillis Redzone Salsa


And famously, of course, Flutie and Gronk Flakes.


As part of the anti-mayo movement, I will not be adorning my cured meats with Jerod Mayo's products. But for those looking to add a little kick to your life via spreadable condiments adorned with the likeness of a Patriots linebacker?


Lucky, meet day.


Wink of the CBS Eye to Fox Boston



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