Jim Harbaugh admits he destroyed a kid in laser tag at his bachelor party

This would probably be Jim Harbaugh's reaction if he lost to a kid in laser tag. (USATSI)
This would probably be Jim Harbaugh's reaction if he lost to a kid in laser tag. (USATSI)

"Survival of the fittest."

"Only the strong survive."

If you ever play laser tag with Jim Harbaugh, you better understand that those are the only two rules he knows. You better also understand that Harbaugh will exploit weaknesses at all costs, even if that means hunting down a 10-year-old kid to win -- and that's exactly what happened at his bachelor party in 2008. 

MLive.com recently wrote a story on how crazy Harbaugh can be sometimes and one of the stories involved Harbaugh, laser tag and a 10-year-old kid who stood no chance.

At his bachelor party, Harbaugh rounded up some friends to play laser tag. Harbaugh, whose laser tag name was 'Captain Comeback,' ended up winning after recording the most 'kills.'

After the round was over, a scatter plot was produced that showed where everyone's kills came from and that's when everyone realized how Harbaugh won.   

"All his shots came against this 10-year-old kid," Eric Bakhtiari said. "He just sat there, hunting this 10-year-old kid so he could win."

Keep in mind, Bakhtiari was laughing while he said this. Bakhtiari played for Harbaugh in college at the Univeristy of San Diego and in the NFL with the 49ers, so he knows Harbaugh well. 

"(He's crazy), but in the best way possible," Bakhtiari said. 

The MLive.com story on Harbaugh was published on Dec. 19 and for seven days, there was no way to know if it was true or not. DID HARBAUGH REALLY SYSTEMATICALLY HUNT DOWN A 10-YEAR-OLD IN LASER TAG OR DID BAKHTIARI MAKE THE WHOLE THING UP BECAUSE HE WAS BITTER ABOUT LOSING TO CAPTAIN COMEBACK iN LASER TAG? 

Lucky for us, there is an answer to that question.  

Harbaugh was asked about it during his final regular season press conference on Friday. Unfortunately, the reporter said "paintball" instead of "laser tag." Despite the small mistake, Harbaugh still answered the question. 

"There's some accuracy there," Harbaugh said. "But it wasn't paintball. It's just another one of those half-truths. Just a half-truth. It was laser tag."

As for beating a 10-year-old to win at laser tag, "That seemed part of the game."

Basically, Jim Harbaugh is willing to win at all costs and will exploit any vulnerabilities he can find. He'll even paint blood on his face if that will somehow help the team.

How has this man not won every Super Bowl since 2011?

Anyway, if this coaching thing doesn't work out for Harbaugh, there's always the Laser Tag World Championships. Harbaugh could dominate the 10-year-old division.

CBS Sports Writer

John Breech has been at CBS Sports since July 2011 and currently spends most of his time writing about the NFL. He's believed to be one of only three people in the world who thinks that Andy Dalton will... Full Bio

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