Antonio Brown is one of the NFL's best receivers. As such, he frequently finds himself in the end zone and likes to celebrate the occasion. Unfortunately, his touchdown dancing doesn't meet the puritanical standards set forth by the NFL.
Consequently, just a month into the season and Brown has been flagged twice for "unsportsmanlike conduct" because the hip-thrustin' gyrations were -- and we're not making this up, "sexually suggestive" in the eyes of the NFL.
Here are exhibits A and B (see what we did there?). Judge for yourself:
Week 1 vs. the Redskins
Week 4 vs. the Chiefs
The inspiration, no doubt, for all this comes courtesy of Key & Peele:
But wait a second, two pumps is perfectly legal -- it's only three or more pumps that will earn you a flag! This is an obvious conspiracy.
That was 2 1/2 pumps! Throw the flag, Tomlin!— Chris Bradford (@BCTBradford) October 3, 2016
Tomlin didn't throw a flag (that would have been hilarious) -- but on Tuesday, he did tell reporters that he'd like some answers about what does and does not constitute a penalty in that situation.
"We have to get some clarity in terms of what's legal and what's not," Tomlin said during his weekly press conference. "I know [Brown] doesn't want it to be a negative thing. He wants to provide positive energy for us and entertain our fans. But we have to get detailed clarity on what he can and cannot do. You've got to acknowledge some guys are followed more closely than others. You saw that last night with (Odell) Beckham. AB is probably one of those guys, and he probably needs to respond accordingly."
Meanwhile, vice president of officiating Dean Blandino says that the league will distribute an explanatory video about what is and isn't acceptable.
"We certainly want the teams to have clarification, and this isn't a new issue," Blandino said, via ESPN.com. "We've been dealing with this in the past. And so we're going to send a tape out in the next week or so and clarify some of these things. But the key is if it's a gesture that either mimics a violent act -- that's something with a firearm or a bow and arrow -- or a sexually suggestive act, those are unsportsmanlike conduct. That's ... something that officials will flag. That's direct from the competition committee and something that we're going to try to be as consistent as possible."
We wouldn't be surprised if the explanatory video is just a copy of "Footloose" signed by John Lithgow.