If we've learned anything over the past couple of weeks, it's that things can get pretty weird and gross during a period of quarantine and self-isolation. Hygiene becomes optional. Diets are thrown out the window. Exercise is an afterthought. We essentially become the worst, most disgusting versions of ourselves...or so I've heard. You know, from a friend.
So when Boston Bruins captain Zdeno Chara was asked Tuesday about which teammates he would and would not want to quarantine with, he had a very fair answer for choosing to stay far away from goaltender Tuukka Rask: His nasty, pungent farts.
"I have to say Tuukka Rask. The way he farts? The smell is awful," said Chara. "He likes his chicken wings. And after the chicken wings, I've had to sit behind him on the bus. I've got to tell you, I've got to control myself sometimes."
Rask has been one of the best goaltenders in the NHL over the past decade, but it appears the one thing he can't manage to stop is his unbearable gas.
Bruins winger David Pastrnak later confirmed that the Boston goaltender is notorious for stinkbombs, but Pastrnak said he would be willing to shack up with Rask anyway.
"His farts are pretty bad, but I think I could overcome it," said Pastrnak. "I would definitely not skate through the crease more than once at practice."
In fairness to Rask, he's not alone in being afflicted by his condition. I certainly am in no position to throw stones, as evidenced by this tweet sent less than two weeks into quarantine:
Ever wanna call the police on yourself for one of your own farts?— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) March 22, 2020
Quarantine stinks for everyone. Some just stink a little worse than others.