PHOTO: Adidas' latest uniform style is truly next-level hideousness
Today marks the turning point when uniforms truly became 'outfits.'
Today marks the turning point when uniforms truly became "outfits."
You're looking at the latest style drummed up by some marketing and fashionista wunderkinds in a conference room some months back. This is a horrible idea come to life, a massive practical joke that some people took way too seriously. Now, our eyes will pay for it. Yes, those are sleeves. Just like Golden State unveiled the concept a couple of weeks back, a few select Adidas schools will be doing the same this March. The "good" news is that these "adizero" outfits will only be worn by the six teams shown above. They'll be there as long as the teams are playing in the postseason, so both conference and NCAA/NIT tournaments. And now you know who not to pick in your bracket.
At least it's not infrared. (Though I must note that the power of infrared guided Louisville to the Final Four last season.)
But the other pattern. Man. It's got hints of Zubaz, but I'm also getting roving flashbacks to other design styles. The shower curtains of my youth, perhaps?
Yes, these uniforms are a little too ... what's the word? Oh, right. Repellent. I think that's literal. Ah, but they're only uniforms. They can't affect play, right? Actually, these things might have the ability to affect weather patterns, they're that affronting. My colleague Brian Stubits G-chatted me to say, "They look like they'd be debuted in 1993, not 2013." That's a great call, Brian. And on a similar note, another colleague, Jeff Borzello, tweeted the threads reminded him of another '90s staple.
Regardless, Adidas has done its job again. Created a new uniform that gets buzz. I'm writing about it, you're reading about it. This is the plan, and the plan is working to a T. And, of course, these wanna-be-vogue getups will be available for you to purchase and bring havoc on your community in campus bookstores around the country and via Adidas' website as early as this weekend.
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