The memorabilia-industrial complex long ago vaulted past the boundaries of common sense, so what follows is hardly surprising ... 

Dirt

That, friends, is authenticated batter's box dirt from Miguel Cabrera's Triple Crown-clinching game. And, because we the people demand such things, it is for sale at the championship price of $39.99.

That's cool and all, but advanced metrics suggest Mike Trout's dirt was actually more productive. Sure, Cabrera had more clay in his dirt, but you can only call his the better dirt if you're completely willing to ignore Trout's demonstrable superiority in the realms of sand and silt.

It takes all three to make a complete pile of dirt, you guys. 

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