The 9 sure signs Albert Pujols is really running the Angels (if they happen)
If these nine things happen, we'll know for sure that Pujols has taken over the Orange County team.
1. The traditional long-running team insignia, the halo, is replaced by an arch. Instead of a halo being alighted on days the Angels win, the arch will glow whenever Pujols gets a ball out of the infield.
2. CIA agents are hired to ensure no sensitive information is leaked from team meetings such as precisely which player proclaimed the team would turn it around.
3. Fans entering Angels stadium will be met by a greeter saying "Bienvenido,'' an homage to Pujols' famous softball-playing father Bienvenido Pujols.
4. The spread will now be catered by Pujols 5, the St. Louis restaurant.
5. The bench coach henceforth serves a dual role as caddy for the avid golfer Albert.
6. The new team name is the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and the Dominican Republic by way of Kansas City.
7. The trade is finally complete: Mike Trout, Peter Bourjos, Erick Aybar, Mark Trumbo, Jered Weaver, Dan
Haren, C.J. Wilson, Jordan Walden, Hank Conger and the entire roster of the Salt Lake Bees for Yadier Molina.
8. Agent Dan Lozano is given his own $10-million personal services contract.
9. Introducing the new manager of the Angels, Jose Oquendo.