SAN DIEGO -- We'll call him Kevin or perhaps Montague or perhaps Ol' Dicky Gustafson-- this 85-pound yellowfin tuna at the 2016 All-Star Game in San Diego. The inestimable Chef Carlos tells us that Ol' Dicky Gustafson (we've decided to go with Ol' Dicky Gustafson) was caught on Monday in the waters off Hawaii and transported along with five of his fallen brethren to Petco Park.
Normally, this fish-consuming correspondent has been told, the fresh-caught tuna have their heads and viscera removed on the boat and then tossed back whence they came, albeit in fuller corporeal form. Chef Carlos, though, requested that the fishermen of note leave Ol' Dicky Gustafson intact for proper display. This request, as you'll soon see, was satisfied ...
From left to right above you see our hero, Chef Carlos, and Chef Cristobal of the Texas Rangers, who's on hand to help out with All-Star festivities. Now for more about the fish that brings us here ...
Big boy, that Ol' Dicky Gustafson ...
There he is ...
Argh.
And here's why they call this dude a yellowfin ...
He has yellow fins, you see.
With our #fishpics quota now not only satisfied but exceeded, let's make with the action-news, color-television, sports-content footage of Ol' Dicky Gustafson getting got for one minute and 41 seconds ...
Relax, he can't feel a thing. And don't worry: He died for a just, worthy, and right-wise cause ...
Nom, nom, nom. Buttery and perfect, is how I would describe what I ate. Come to Petco Park, people. For the fish is fresh there.
How is this news and what does this have to do with sports? You tell me, sucka.
