Remember that speech the guy gave after winning the Emmy award for "Hairstyling for a Mini-Series"? Wasn't it riveting?
Ok, so maybe you didn't catch that one. Nor did most of the people in the television industry I imagine. Nevertheless, he still got an Emmy award for cutting hair, while you and I can barely comb our hair.
That brings us to this column. Last week, I handed out the 2007 Fannies Fantasy Baseball Awards. But it's time to hand out some of the lesser-known awards for Fantasy Baseball. There won't be a big Hollywood awards show. No red carpet. No speeches. And if you can please pull around back, by the dumpster, you can pick up your bronze Fanny award.
The lesser-known Fantasy awards
Comeback player of the year: This guy hit 47 home runs over the past two seasons. Actually, he hit 46 homers this year -- and only one in 2006. It's tough to make an argument for this award for anyone other than Tampa's Carlos Pena. He hit as many home runs this year as he did from 2004-06. His agent, Scott Boras, has already been pumping him up as an AL MVP candidate, which is sure to cost the Devil Rays a pretty penny in arbitration this offseason. We see him as a top-10 Fantasy first baseman entering 2008, just behind Derrek Lee.
Bust of the year: There certainly were plenty of candidates for this award, not to mention a few women I saw walking around South Beach. Justin Morneau hit .271 and tallied only 111 RBI a year after winning the AL MVP award in 2006, with a .321 batting average and 130 RBI. Manny Ramirez dealt with some injuries and indifference this season, but he had 24 more at-bats this year than last -- yet came through with 15 fewer homers (35 to 20). Vernon Wells' batting average dropped more than 50 points, his homers were cut in half and his season finally ended after September shoulder surgery. But this award is still going to Andruw Jones, who was drafted 21st overall on average in mixed CBSSports.com leagues. In what we all hoped would be a huge contract season, Jones hit .222, easily his worst number since he had 106 at-bats in his first year in the majors (1996). His home runs were 15 fewer than in '06, his RBI were 33 fewer, and he ended the season hitting .207 with two homers in September, killing his owners in the playoffs. Alfonso Soriano was also a huge disappointment after a career year in Washington. Travis Hafner was shoddy as well.
It's about time award: This one goes out to a player we had hoped would do something a few years ago. Pena certainly gets a nod of recognition here, but you only get one award per person. My rules. B.J. Upton was drafted in the middle rounds of mixed leagues for the past few seasons, but just when you swore you wouldn't take him again, he comes through with a poor man's Soriano-like .300-24-82-86-22 season. Unlike Soriano, though, Mr. Upton will have 2B- and OF-eligibility in 2008. Will Stephen Drew develop into a solid hitter after a lackluster 2007 in which he hit .238? Time will tell, but Fantasy owners are more forgiving when discussing middle infielders with pop, like Drew and Upton.
Bugs Bunny award: This one goes out to the best player with the most versatility. (Remember how Bugs Bunny would play every position!?!) Mark Loretta was supposed to work as a utility infielder in Houston, which he did, but to get 460 at-bats doing it at every position in the infield was impressive. I still give the hardware to the Mark DeRosa of the Cubs, however. He out-produced Loretta offensively, while having middle, corner and outfield eligibility. Although, Loretta will be one of only two players, along with Willie Bloomquist, that will have four-position eligibility next spring.
If only the season were from July to Sept. award: During the entire offseason, I was extremely excited about seeing what Kevin Kouzmanoff would do for the Padres. He started off incredibly slow, though, batting just .204 as late as June 5. But after the All-Star break? The Kouz turned it up, hitting .317 with 11 homers and 37 RBI. He ended the season with four homers, 17 RBI and a .380 batting average in September and October.
I wish I traded you at the All-Star break award: You have to look at someone like Gary Sheffield as a hot start/bad finish player. Granted, a shoulder injury played a major part in his .203-4-17-29-10 hitting line in 51 games after the break. But if you had him for his first 82 games, he hit .303 with 21 homers, 58 RBI, 78 runs scored and 12 stolen bases. He's an aging veteran whose shoulder will haunt him for the rest of his career. If he breaks out early in 2008 again -- don't hesitate to move him.
Hank Blalock award -- most improved sophomore of the year: Blalock popped only three homers in nearly 150 at-bats in his '02 rookie season, then he hit 29 a year later with 90 RBI. So, with that in mind, I wanted to reward a player that stumbled through his rookie year, but exploded in '07. With 50 homers in his second full season, Prince Fielder gets the nod here. He had a solid freshman year with 28 home runs and 81 RBI, but his 50-119 season was more than impressive. Something tells me we'll be calling this the Prince Fielder award next year. Russell Martin takes second-place after improving in every category in '07, making him one of the top two catchers to be drafted in most leagues next year, along with Victor Martinez.
Pat Listach award -- worst sophomore of the year: Listach won the AL Rookie of the Year award in 1992 for Milwaukee, but then fell off the next year considerably. Kouzmanoff had a nice rookie season for San Diego, but the player traded to Cleveland for him last offseason, Josh Barfield, wasn't quite as lucky. The second baseman had only three homers and 14 steals this year, batting just .243, before finally losing his starting job to Asdrubal Cabrera. The Indians will be reluctant to give up on him too quickly, when you consider that former Indians 2B Brandon Phillips was a 30-30 man for cross-state Cincinnati and even Ronnie Belliard played well for Washington. Conor Jackson was expected to produce better this season, but he also disappointed in his second year.
CBSSports.com rep for World Series of Fantasy Baseball: Tim McFarlin and Brad Seidel were the two users chosen to stand in for us for MLB.com's postseason Fantasy tournament. McFarlin bowed out in Round 1, but Seidel has moved on to Round 2 of the contest that runs throughout the baseball postseason, aiming to crown the best of the best. Congrats, boys!
Biggest villain of the year: April 18 was a dark day for me in the Tout Wars, when Phillies' manager Charlie Manuel announced that Brett Myers was moved from the rotation into the bullpen (not even closer at that point, mind you). So after just three starts, the player I spent $12 on to be the second ace on my mixed-league staff was now working the middle innings. Even though he eventually came in to notch 21 saves, that surely didn't offset the wins and strikeouts I had hoped to rack up with him in my rotation. Charlie Manuel, I'll never forgive you.
Most painful injury of the year: The only thing that made me not run in front of a bus after Myers went to the bullpen was knowing that my friend J.P. Kastner of Creative Sports bid $25 on Chris Carpenter. The 2005 NL Cy Young award winner (third in '06) threw a total of six innings in 2007. He endured his second Tommy John surgery on his right elbow this summer. Well, he threw two more innings than B.J. Ryan did. Ryan also needed Tommy John surgery and his year ended in mid-April. Injuries to Erik Bedard and Chase Utley also cost their owners immensely, but at least they were able to post great numbers before going down.
I told you so award: Before the season started, I mentioned Jake Peavy would win the NL Cy Young, and that Alfonso Soriano would be one of the most expensive busts of the season. By midseason, I started warning you to sell high on Chris Young, who posted a second-half 1-5 record with an ERA (4.80) more than twice as high as the first half (2.00). Chuck James and Brad Penny were also pegged to disappoint in the second half, while I named Bronson Arroyo and Andy Pettitte as two second-half climbers.
I can admit I made a mistake award: Scott Kazmir, Ervin Santana and Javier Vazquez were players I was very off on, specifically in the second half. I'm sure I'll be hearing from you on the other hundreds of players I missed on, and I welcome it. Please put in the subject line, "Attn: Deleted Items."
Thank you for finally staying healthy award: Khalil Greene had never tallied more than 500 at-bats in any of his four seasons. But this year he was injury-free and he broke his own Padres' record for homers by a shortstop with 16 (on July 15th!) He finished the year with 27 home runs and 97 RBI and we have him as a top-10 Fantasy shortstop entering '08, despite his .254 batting average.
I can't believe you stayed healthy award: J.D. Drew. How did Boston end up fourth in the majors in scoring with Manny in left and Drew in right this season? Drew finally broke out in September (.342, four homers and 18 RBI), but before that, it got to the point where Red Sox fans were just rooting for him to not hit into a double-play. (Actually, he only hit into 12 double-plays, but it sure makes for funny reading.)
Best Fantasy readers in the world: No surprise here. The CBSSports.com readers win this award for the unprecedented 11th year in a row.
Biggest kiss-up to his readers: David Gonos.
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