The 2018 NFL Draft begins Thursday, but it will only be the second-most important draft of the week. You're about to read the most important.
You see, for those of us who cover college football, the NFL Draft is a bit like a graduation ceremony. We watch the players we've been covering for the last three or four years move on to begin the rest of their lives, and while we're happy for them, it makes us a bit sad to see them go.
So to combat this sudden onset of depression, the CBS Sports college football team has decided to hold a draft of its own. We're drafting sports movies because, when you can't watch sports, you might as well watch a movie about it instead.
We had seven people take part in a five-round draft, and if you're barely competent with math, you've already figured out that we selected 35 movies. There were some surprise selections, some films that fell further in the draft than most anticipated, and others that were left out altogether. In other words, it was a lot like this weekend's NFL Draft will be, except none of us have to pay the movies we drafted millions of dollars.
Here was the draft order.
1. Adam Silverstein, Editor
2. Ben Kercheval, Writer
3. Barrett Sallee, Writer
4. Brandon Wise, Editor
5. Jack Jorgensen, Editor
6. Chip Patterson, Writer
7. Tom Fornelli, Hero to all
As to what qualified as a sports movie, there was no set definition, but it's a bit like NSFW material: You know it when you see it. There were also no guidelines in terms of whether film quality or entertainment value should be prioritized in these selections.
Round 1
1. Rocky (Silverstein): It's difficult picking No. 1 overall in this draft because one has to weigh so many factors including quality of the film, rewatchability and overall entertainment value. I kept trying to think of reasons to go in a different direction but always came back to "Rocky." And I don't mind not being guaranteed the sequels because the first stands on its own. This film was made for just over $1 million and ranked in $225 million in 1976. 1976! It won Best Picture at the Oscars and has led to six sequels/spin-offs, though we should only speak of five. And it still holds up 42 years later. There's only one other option atop this list, in my opinion ...
2. Raging Bull (Kercheval): A lot of sports movies -- see No. 1 overall pick Rocky -- glorify the athlete or the event. Not Raging Bull. Scorsese's take on boxing was as brutal as the real-life sport itself and Robert De Niro's utterly raw performance as Jake LaMotta was indeed Oscar-worthy. It's not just one of the best sports movies of all time -- though it's hardly a traditional sports movie -- it's one of the best movies ever made. Not a fun watch at No. 2 but entirely worth it.
3. Field of Dreams (Sallee): How can you not like Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta and the best baseball movie of all time. It's a story about family, risk, history and building something for future generations to enjoy. Plus, ghosts in a corn field, of course.
4. Major League (Wise): You can keep the sappy stories all you want. One of the most quotable movies of all time remains a classic and easy to watch every time it comes on. Wesley Snipes, Charlie Sheen, and Dennis Haysbert provide some of the best one-liners in the film. Plus, Bob Uecker is all of us trying to survive a lousy team's season.
5. Rudy (Jorgensen): It's so easy to fall in love with the story of an undersized, lifelong fan trying to walk on to one of the most historic college football programs in history. Facts of the real-life story aside, it's still fun to this day to watch the whole thing play out on screen until he finally makes it onto the field with his beloved Fighting Irish. Also, I do not care if he was offsides!
6. The Program (Patterson): The trials and tribulations of the ESU Timberwolves remain the most entertaining college football tale on the big screen, with Steve Lattimer as one of the best characters in any sports movie. Halle Berry as Autumn Haley is legendary, and it's fun to watch the movie now 25 years later to pick out the scenes that were shot at South Carolina (and at a much older Williams-Brice) and the ones that were shot at Duke.
7. Caddyshack (Fornelli): This movie is older than all of us, yet it still holds up today. It's funny and extremely quotable. Two key fundamentals of any good sports movie.
Round 2
8. Rocky IV (Fornelli): It's the best Rocky movie of them all, yet it's the second one taken. Rocky ends the Cold War!
9. Blue Chips (Patterson): We didn't need a federal investigation to know about the seedy underbelly in college basketball; we've always had Blue Chips!
10. Miracle (Jorgensen): I don't even like hockey, but how can you not love this look back at the 1980 U.S. men's hockey team's triumph over the juggernaut Russians? Plus, Kurt Russell's portrayal of Herb Brooks was phenomenal.
11. Remember The Titans (Wise): Possibly a top-three Denzel Washington movie for me all time. The characters in this story are all so unique and interesting on their own. Plus, it gave us the first look at Hayden Panettiere, Wood Harris, and of course, Ryan Gosling, who was an absolute liability in the secondary.
12. Varsity Blues (Sallee): Jonathan Moxon is the hero the that West Canaan Coyotes needed after the tragic injury to quarterback Lance Harbor cost him his scholarship to Florida State. And the real hero is, of course, Charlie Tweeter. He drinks beer because, well, Tweeter drinks beer. You don't get that kind of thoughtful analysis from any other movie.
13. Space Jam (Kercheval): I can't believe it fell this far. Fools. All of you. Raging Bull satisfies the movie buff in me, but Space Jam is all about the laughs. You can check off all the boxes: a big sports name as the lead, popularity, and crossover with an iconic brand, a hilarious supporting cast of actual actors and an interesting concept.
14. Silverstein - Tin Cup (Silverstein): When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment ... or the moment defines you. Shot during a pre-Tiger Woods golf world, Tin Cup will not live up to Bull Durham in the eyes of many, but its tremendous cast, direction and writing make it an easy choice to close out Round 2. You can make an argument it has a top-five climax among sports films. No laying up.
Round 3
15. Any Given Sunday (Silverstein): This is difficult with so many films holding relatively equal footing for me. Any Given Sunday featured one of the best sports film speeches (Al Pacino) along with a breakout role for Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz playing against type. Plus, you know, Lawrence Taylor and LL Cool J.
16. The Sandlot (Kercheval): No other movie captures the essence of childhood better. It's the quintessential summer movie fleshed out with quirky characters, wacky hijinks and a touching theme. When it's on TV, you stop flicking through the channels and watch.
17. Rad (Sallee): This might seem like a reach based on your draft analytics, but if that's the case, your draft analytics are stupid. Rad is the greatest sports movie of all time and really should have been the first overall pick. Cru Jones coming out of nowhere to beat Bart Taylor, "Hollywood" Mike Miranda, the Reynolds twins -- Rod and Rex -- the entire Team Mongoose and conquer Helltrack all while dealing with his mother putting pressure on him to take his SATs is the stuff legends are made of.
18. He Got Game (Wise): I get a second Denzel flick, and I love it. Jesus Shuttlesworth is ready to ball all over the rest of these choices despite what his dad wishes in this fantastic Spike Lee movie on the trials and tribulations of a young basketball player.
19. Bad New Bears (Jorgensen): Everything about this movie is entertaining from start to finish, and to me, Walter Matthau as the drunken Buttermaker trying to deal with these kids -- especially Tanner -- is one of my favorite all-time movie characters.
20. Happy Gilmore (Patterson): You couldn't tell me in 1996 that Adam Sandler was not the funniest human on the planet. These streaming young people will never know the wear and tear you can put into a VHS copy of Happy Gilmore.
21. Hoop Dreams (Fornelli): I'm taking the first documentary off the board. I love it for a few reasons. The biggest is that it's a great movie. Next, it also took place close to where I grew up. In fact, you can see not one, but two of my cousins in the movie. My family is Hollywood elite.
Round 4
22. Necessary Roughness (Fornelli): I can't believe it took me four picks to get a football movie on my squad, but that's more a result of what I've had available to pick. A classic underdog story about a bunch of washed adults living their dreams.
23. Talladega Nights (Patterson): Homer pick because I've had a ton of fun at Lowes Motor Speedway over the years and a lot of the movie is shot in North Carolina. Grandpa's name is Chip, too.
24. Creed (Jorgensen): As a huge fan of the Rocky franchise, I was thoroughly impressed with how they were able to tell the story of Apollo Creed's son's rise in the boxing world. Sly Stallone did a phenomenal job in turning this into almost a brand-new franchise for us to become invested in.
25. The Mighty Ducks (Wise): Yes, a piece of my childhood will never be forgotten. A band of misfits and a recovering alcoholic coaching them? Sign me up every time. FORM THE FLYING V. Quack, Quack, Quack.
26. The Waterboy (Sallee): From zero to hero. Bobby Boucher's rise to become a star for the South Central Louisiana State Mud Dogs and lead them to a win over the Louisiana Cougars and that jerk, Red Beaulieu, in the Bourbon Bowl defined late-90's sports hero movies.
27. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (Kercheval): Yes, dodgeball is a sport. It's on ESPN 8, isn't it? Anyway, Dodgeball not only delivers what it promises in the title -- a true underdog story, which is the basis of any great sports movie -- it's criminally underrated in quotability thanks to such gems as "That's a bold move, Cotton." and "Is it necessary to drink my own urine? No, but it's sterile, and I like the taste."
28. White Men Can't Jump (Silverstein): Nearly took this in Round 2, so loving the value here with Blue Chips off the board so early. From the random Gary Payton cameo to the difference between listening to Jimi and actually hearing him, this movie combined everything we love about basketball, busting balls with your bros and the difficulties of deciding it's time to be an adult. Well, for most of us ... Billy's still probably trying to figure that out 25 years later.
Round 5
29. The Wrestler (Silverstein): This was difficult as a final selection with so many incredible films still out there, from the comedic to the dramatic. With boxing, football, golf and hoops already covered, one would think baseball is the sport to round out my haul -- and I did leave a top-two baseball movie on the board. Nope. The Wrestler is the best professional wrestling film ever made. Everyone from Darren Aronofsky to Mickey Rourke to Marisa Tomei knocked it out of the park. It was spot-on in its portrayal to the point that it has earned praise from the industry itself. There are sports movies that will make you laugh hard but none will make you feel as much as this.
30. Friday Night Lights (Kercheval): Look, I love Varsity Blues. Fun flick. But as someone who has spent the last 17 years in Texas, including my high school years, I'm here to tell you Varsity Blues is ... well ... hokey -- a caricature of the West Texas high school football scene. In Friday Night Lights, high school football is viewed through a more nuanced lens. The characters are more layered and interesting. Plus, any movie whose soundtrack is predominantly Explosions in the Sky gets a vote of approval.
31. Bull Durham (Sallee): Crash Davis as a reluctant role model for Nuke Laloosh while they both compete for Annie Savoy? This really should be a first-round pick. Plus, Davis tells all of us what's truly important in life and candlesticks always make a nice gift. OK, let's get two.
32. Angels In The Outfield (Wise): With my last pick, I once again hark back to childhood. I've stopped on this a couple of times of late, and it still holds up. A young Joseph Gordon-Levitt, grumpy Danny Glover, and Tony Danza as a past-his-prime ace. Oh yeah, and the most random cameo of all time with Matthew McConaughey making a catch THROUGH the outfield wall.
33. Jerry Maguire (Jorgensen): Hard to believe that a movie that gave us one of the more iconic quotes in sports movie history (SHOW ME THE MONEY!) fell this far ... but here we are. Agents in pro sports are very integral figures, and this is one of the few movies out there that sort of deals with what role they actually play from behind the scenes and how cutthroat their industry can be.
34. D2: The Mighty Ducks (Patterson): Gordon Bombay losing touch and getting a big head about his success is way more entertaining than the underdog on the come-up.
35. Warrior (Fornelli): In the upset of the century, I finish without a baseball movie on my team. I was torn between this and A League of Their Own, but I just think this is the better movie. It has a lot of similarities to The Fighter, but in the MMA world, and it's just better overall. Give me Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton over Marky Mark and Christian Bale's overacting any day.
Draft Grades
Round 1, Pick 1 | Rocky |
Round 2, Pick 14 | Tin Cup |
Round 3, Pick 15 | Any Given Sunday |
Round 4, Pick 28 | White Men Can't Jump |
Round 5, Pick 29 | The Wrestler |
Silverstein: A very solid list, which was a surprise given Adam believes The Big Lebowski should be considered a sports movie. Ironically enough, I think Rocky was the weakest pick of the five. Grade: A-
Round 1, Pick 2 | Raging Bull |
Round 2, Pick 13 | Space Jam |
Round 3, Pick 16 | The Sandlot |
Round 4, Pick 27 | Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story |
Round 5, Pick 30 | Friday Night Lights |
Kercheval: Ben couldn't believe Space Jam fell as far as it did, and the rest of us couldn't believe it went so soon. A troublesome start to the draft, but Ben finished strong. Grade: B
Round 1, Pick 3 | Field of Dreams |
Round 2, Pick 12 | Varsity Blues |
Round 3, Pick 17 | Rad |
Round 4, Pick 26 | The Waterboy |
Round 5, Pick 31 | Bull Durham |
Sallee: Four good movies and Rad. Honestly, it's fine that Barrett took Rad. Maybe it's good. I don't know, I've never seen it, but I have seen the trailer, and it was enough for me. The point is, he could have taken it in the final round but reached. Grade: C
Round 1, Pick 4 | Major League |
Round 2, Pick 11 | Remember The Titans |
Round 3, Pick 18 | He Got Game |
Round 4, Pick 25 | The Mighty Ducks |
Round 5, Pick 32 | Angels In The Outfield |
Wise: Brandon had a great start to his draft with Major League, Remember The Titans and He Got Game, but then he turned into an 8-year-old over the final two rounds. The Mighty Ducks is fine for nostalgia purposes, but Angels In The Outfield? Really?! Grade: C-
Round 1, Pick 5 | Rudy |
Round 2, Pick 10 | Miracle |
Round 3, Pick 19 | Bad News Bears |
Round 4, Pick 24 | Creed |
Round 5, Pick 33 | Jerry Maguire |
Jorgensen: Rudy and Miracle are a bit too hokey for my tastes, and Jerry Maguire always struck me more like a romantic comedy with sports as its backdrop. Bad News Bears and Creed were solid middle round choices. Grade: C
Round 1, Pick 6 | The Program |
Round 2, Pick 9 | Blue Chips |
Round 3, Pick 20 | Happy Gilmore |
Round 4, Pick 23 | Talladega Nights |
Round 5, Pick 34 | D2: The Mighty Ducks |
Patterson: Chip is a 15-year-old boy in an adult man's body. His selections are a clear reflection of that. I did love The Program pick because I was prepared to take it if he hadn't. Grade: B-
Round 1, Pick 7 | Caddyshack |
Round 2, Pick 8 | Rocky IV |
Round 3, Pick 21 | Hoop Dreams |
Round 4, Pick 22 | Necessary Roughness |
Round 5, Pick 35 | Warrior |
Fornelli: I took Caddyshack in the first because it was great value at that point, and then I went with Rocky IV thinking Any Given Sunday would fall to me in the third. The toughest call was Warrior with my final pick. There were so many other movies left on the board worth taking. Grade: B-
Who do you believe had the best draft? Hit us up on Twitter and let us know.
