What would you rather do than go to a game in 34 degree temperatures, sit down for three hours, and watch your team get shut-out 2-0 by the Rockies in a game utterly devoid of anything eventful? Literally anything? Well, the Pittsburgh Pirates get that, so they decided to reward the poor fans that did just that on Tuesday night with a small consolation prize.

According to Baseball Reference, 8,869 fans were in attendance at Tuesday night's game in PNC Park. It was cold, snowy, and windy; and there is no way that 8,869 people were there. The Pirates rewarded those in attendance with a free voucher to a future game, which presumably took a few tries for people to accept on account of their numb fingers.

Just look at that poor Oliver Twist-esque woman. "More tickets, sir?" But good news Pirates fans, the next game is in Philadelphia on Thursday, where the projected temperature for the first pitch is about 40 degrees. Or, in Midwestern April terms, sweatshirt and shorts weather.

Hopefully none of these poor fans use their tickets before July, but there is good news for Pirates fans. Their team is off to a hot start and leading the NL Central in the early stages of the season. We'll see if that continues, but maybe the team is sapping heat from the climate to keep up their hot streaks. In which case, keep Pittsburgh cold.