You open the cupboard, look straight ahead and see multiple brands of breakfast delicacies staring you in the face. Cereal. The breakfast of champions. But which cereal is best? What style do you like? Who can put together the future Super Bowl champion of cereals?
We wrangled some of our writers who double as breakfast experts and went four rounds deep in snake draft format putting together rosters in the quest for cereal superiority. Selecting a cereal includes its varieties. For example: Picking Rice Krispies also gets you get Cocoa Krispies. However, it won't get you Rice Krispies Treats cereal, since those are two separate products.
This was a snake draft. Pete Blackburn began with the No. 1 overall selection and also took Cereal Irrelevant with No. 48. Here are the results. Keep on reading to see individual team breakdowns and grades.
| Round 1 | Round 2 | Round 3 | Round 4 | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
Pete Blackburn | Cinnamon Toast Crunch | Trix | Smorz | Basic 4 |
Kyle Porter | Life | Honey Bunches of Oats | Chex | Kix |
Adam Silverstein | Frosted Flakes | Golden Grahams | Special K | Crispix |
Eric Kay | Cheerios | French Toast Crunch | Alpha Bits | Nerds |
Barrett Sallee | Lucky Charms | Oreo O's | Frosted Mini-Wheats | Wheaties |
Jared Dubin | Cocoa Puffs | Cocoa Krispies | Honeycomb | Pop Tarts Crunch |
Tom Fornelli | Raisin Bran Crunch | Honey Oh's | Honey Smacks | Smart Start |
Chip Patterson | Count Chocula | Oatmeal | Puffins | Total |
Ben Kercheval | Captain Crunch (Peanut Butter) | Corn Pops | Rice Krispies Treats | Grape Nuts |
Matt Snyder | Apple Jacks | Fruit Loops | Nutter Butter | Dippin' Dots |
John Breech | Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs | Waffle Crisp | Boo Berry | Golden Crisp |
Katherine Acquavella | Fruity Pebbles | Cookie Crisp | Krave | Cracklin' Oat Bran |
Pete Blackburn
- Cinnamon Toast Crunch
- Trix
- Smorz
- Basic Four
Let's keep it real -- drafting Cinnamon Toast Crunch with the first overall pick is the cereal equivalent of the Colts selecting Peyton Manning No. 1 overall in 1998. Anything related to s'mores works, and Basic 4 finishes it off with a nice healthy option. Grade: A-
Kyle Porter
- Life
- Honey Bunches of Oats
- Chex
- Kix
If Blackburn's first pick was Manning, Porter selecting Life with the No. 2 overall pick is like choosing Ryan Leaf. It's a total reach. (And I write this as a friend of Leaf). Chex is a solid pick in the third round, and Kix is kid-tested, mother-approved. The back end of his draft is solid, but it doesn't make up for a bad first two rounds. Grade: D
Adam Silverstein
- Frosted Flakes
- Golden Grahams
- Special K
- Crispix
I really like Silverstein's first-round pick. After all, they're gr-r-reat (I'm sorry. I apologize. You shouldn't be friends with me.) He cemented the foundation of his squad in Round 2 with a fantastic complement to the cornerstone of his franchise and a steal at pick No. 22. The final two rounds were a bit lackluster, but this is going to be a consistent team that will contend for a wild-card spot every year. Grade: B
Eric Kay
- Cheerios
- French Toast Crunch
- Alpha Bits
- Nerds
Cheerios was a safe pick in Round 1, but then Kay got the steal of the second round with French Toast Crunch. I honestly didn't know that Nerds had a cereal, which makes me a bad person. I'm not sure about Alpha Bits, but Kay finished with a bang. Grade: B
Barrett Sallee
- Lucky Charms
- Oreo O's
- Frosted Mini-Wheats
- Wheaties
Not to pat myself on the back, but what's better than magically delicious rainbow marshmallows and frosted oats? Nothing. And then to steal Oreo O's in Round 2 is a straight up power move. Doubling up on wheat is a risk, but getting old reliable in Round 4 is nice. It's like nabbing a player whose tape doesn't lie, even though the combine left a lot to be desired. Grade: C+ (Editor's note: Barrett did not grade himself)
Jared Dubin
- Cocoa Puffs
- Cocoa Krispies
- Honeycomb
- Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts Crunch
Cocoa Puffs in Round 1 is a steal for Dubin, especially considering it was passed over by a few other folks (looking at you, Porter). Then he followed it up with another cocoa delight. That's strong. Really strong. Honeycomb is an old reliable, and putting all of those words together in the fourth round seems delightful. Grade: A-
Tom Fornelli
- Raisin Bran Crunch
- Honey Oh's
- Honey Smacks
- Smart Start
Raisin Bran Crunch is a solid selection out of the gate, and then he went heavy on honey. It's like stacking defensive line with more defensive line. It's nice in theory, but did Fornelli focus too much on one unit while neglecting another? Only time will tell. Grade: C
Chip Patterson
- Count Chocula
- Oatmeal
- Puffins
- Total
Patterson's draft pendulum swung left and right during the first two rounds when he combined tasty with healthy. He then reached in the third and fourth rounds. Essentially, Patterson is the New York Jets of our cereal draft. Grade: D+
Ben Kercheval
- Captain Crunch
- Corn Pops
- Rice Krispies Treats
- Grape Nuts
I really like what Kercheval did in the first two rounds. Captain Crunch is one of the gold standards, and Corn Pops are one of the more underrated cereals in the world. Consider Corn Pops the cereal version of Sony Michel -- a late first-round selection that could become the centerpiece to a title run. The final two rounds were a nice healthy/unhealthy balance, but Grape Nuts could have been snagged as an undrafted free agent. Grade: B+
Matt Snyder
- Apple Jacks
- Fruit Loops
- Nutter Butter
- Dippin' Dots
I told my two kids (seven and three) about Snyder's first two picks, and they immediately declared him the draft champion. He then followed it up with two more tremendous selections, including the Tom Brady of the draft in Round No. 4. Insert the Vince Carter GIF here, because "it's over." Snyder is the champ. Grade: A+
John Breech
- Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs
- Waffle Crisp
- Boo Berry
- Golden Crisp
Anything Reese's is a winner, and Breech followed it up with another solid selection in Waffle Crisp in Round 2. Any cereal with a monster is a winner, but Golden Crisp in Round 4 is essentially a throwaway pick. Breech had a strong start, but missed the mark in the final round. Grade: B
Katherine Acquavella
- Fruity Pebbles
- Cookie Crisp
- Krave
- Cracklin' Oat Bran
It's tough to have the No. 1 or No. 12 pick in a snake draft, because you have to plan to sit for a while to watch potential selections fly off the board. The first and second rounds were great for Acquavella, and she finished it off with a nice healthy/non-healthy balance. It's a solid team top-to-bottom. Grade: A
