Washington State coach Mike Leach isn't in the business of making friends. A week ago, he made headlines (and got fined) for comments about Arizona State stealing signs -- which also got him a tongue lashing from Todd Graham after the game.
Angering Sparky nation was just a warmup for Leach, who has now turned his attention to Cubs fans ahead of the World Series. Leach told reporters Monday that he is tired of hearing people talking about how they love the Cubs and will be supporting the Indians out of spite.
"There are some teams -- the Cubs are one of them -- where there is just too many Cubs fans. And they're one of those teams that for whatever reason, I guess it's because people like the way their uniforms look or something, that every yuppie with a BMW or with some special attachment to his computer or some designer set of jeans or something like that is a Cubs fan and refers to them as 'my Cubbies.' And any time you say 'my' before your team, well, then that's dubious. OK? And 'my this, my that.' Come on, now. So you get my Cubbies. You don't get my Indians. You get 'my Cubbies,' OK? And I think there are too many out-of-the-woodwork people that like them that like them because they like the uniforms. Don't know the first thing about baseball. Probably have never even attended a Cubs game, but that's just going to be their team so they have something to talk about over the coffee machine and the cooler. So as a result I'm going against the whole wave of probably seven-eighths of America, I want the Indians. Me and the city of Cleveland."
Let's take this apart and see what we can learn about Mike Leach from this mini-rant:
1. He's not a fan of BMWs -- my guess is Leach is a General Motors man.
2. Don't you dare bring designer jeans around him. Wrangler or die.
3. His computer doesn't have any "special attachments" like a "keyboard" or "mouse." He doesn't believe in attachments. He also doesn't believe in computers. Can't trust 'em. Big Brother's always watching. He sends recruits letters by carrier pigeon, because if you can't trust a pigeon what can you trust these days?
4. He hates people that like a team just for the uniforms. Yeah, he's talking to you Oregon fans outside of Eugene.
5. He thinks people still stand around a coffee machine or water cooler to talk at the office. Mike Leach gets his information about office life from Dilbert cartoons and TV commercials from the early 2000s that he sees while watching his VHS-taped reruns of game shows -- Leach loves the Richard Karn era of Family Feud.
6. He is now a Cleveland Indians fan.