In exchange for a reasonable amount of U.S. currency you can purchase an objectively wondrous t-shirt celebrating the 1982 Milwaukee Brewers. Here, in sprawling beauty, is the back of said T-shirt ...

Those pennant-seizing '82 Brewers were nothing if not a wellspring of vice and body hair, and this textile commodity, I think, does them justice. The beards and mustaches are banal enough these days -- once Nike has glommed onto a trend, its twilight has begun -- but, well, there's so much more to this than whiskers.

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