If somebody else were me, and I were an Associated Press voter, I'd like to think I'd be extra careful with my ballot if the Gary Parrish in this hypothetical alternative universe had just spent the previous week exposing my nonsensical ballot.
In fact, I know I would.
But not everybody thinks like me. So they get what they get.
Here is this week's Poll Attacks column ...
Associated Press poll: I try to never highlight the same AP voter in consecutive weeks because it could be interpreted as me picking on someone, and I'm not here to pick on anyone. I'm not a bully. That's why I never make it personal and always comment only about the ballot in question. Because I don't want anybody to ever think I'm doing anything more than what I'm actually doing, which is merely pointing out obvious flaws in the way some people choose to rank college basketball teams.
So I hate this. I really do.
But I have to tell you about Doug Doughty's ballot again.
If Doughty's name sounds familiar, it should. He's one of the three voters who were featured in last week's Poll Attacks column for the silly way in which they were handling Purdue. Now here he is again, presumably oblivious to the fact that TCU took its first loss last Wednesday at SMU.
Check this out: Doughty had TCU ranked 22nd on his ballot last week, which I disagreed with but whatever. Jamie Dixon's Horned Frogs were, at the time, 8-0. And though I didn't think for a second that TCU was really one of the nation's top 25 teams, I have a rule that prevents me from criticizing how voters rank undefeated teams because they are undefeated and ... who knows?
So I let it slide.
But I can't let this slide. Because TCU is no longer undefeated. TCU is 9-1 with zero quality wins and a 74-59 loss to SMU. And yet Doughty is still ranking TCU. And now he's ranking TCU ...18th!
That's why I'm assuming Doughty has no idea TCU lost at SMU last week -- because not only is he still ranking the Horned Frogs, he actually moved them up four spots after the loss to SMU. They were 22nd on his ballot last Monday. Then they lost to SMU by 15 points. And now they're 18th on his ballot.
Seriously, Doug. Come on.
Please don't make me do this again next week.
I'm begging you.
This hurts me more than it hurts you.
Coaches poll: I could fake it, I guess. But the truth is that there aren't any real problems with this week's coaches poll -- at least not among the schools that are actually ranked. Every school in the coaches poll is within three spots of where I have them in the Top 25 (and one) -- except for Oregon, which is 22nd in the coaches poll and my first team out. Either way, there's clearly nothing silly about ranking Oregon considering one of its losses came without Pac-12 Player of the Year Dillon Brooks, and the other happened in his first game back from foot surgery. So I'm not going to pretend to be outraged by the presence of Oregon. And there's nothing obviously screwy about the order of the teams in the coaches poll, either. So ... I'm cool.
Good job, coaches.
(Or, more likely, sports information directors.)
You get a pass this week.