As you may have heard and celebrated, the Tampa Bay Rays will soon play dress up with 1979 "faux-back" uniforms. Such behavior is of course to be encouraged.
But what did the real 1979 offer us in terms of high-waisted men's fashions? Let us celebrate this high point of the culture by looking back at the top five uniforms of 1979, that blessed year that has inspired the Rays to such heights ...
5. Phillies
The '79 Phils make the cut mostly because that middle uni makes the wearer look like a delicious encased meat, which, in some ways, is exactly what Greg Luzinski was.
4. White Sox
As you can tell by the tailored and collared look of these, they are for gentlemen only. Sometimes the players paired these with four-button spats and monocles. How could you not? Steve Trout would often go directly from the mound to the opera without a change of wardrobe. Why would he do otherwise?
3. Padres
What you see above are sometimes referred to, often derisively, as the Pads' "taco uniforms." This is not entirely accurate.
Look at the color scheme. Whither the chopped iceberg lettuce, the sliced tomatoes, the salsa -- no, wait -- the picante sauce? Granted, the color of the Old El Paso hard-shell is there, as is the grated cheese with the "core-reactor meltdown" glow to it. And there is, of course, the unmistakable hue of ground beef lovingly prepared in a packet of taco seasoning and a congealed can-shaped blob of cream-of-mushroom soup. But that's it. So these are more spartan than what we think about when we think about tacos.
These, rather, are "the tacos of prisoners."
2. Astros
Much like any number of things presumed to be safe in the 1970s, Astros uniforms turned your skin orange. Hell of a drug.
1. Pirates
While most squads in 1979 were content to decorate themselves with just two different uniforms, the Pirates, en route to the belt and the title, needed five different ensembles just to make it through the day. One simply does not get in Kent Tekulve's way when he shrieks that he "must have a pop of color, please and thank you."
(All images courtesy of Dressed to the Nines)
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