Based on those truths, there's no reason to believe that a blocking call in a Bulls-Grizzlies game this season would ever be noteworthy. However, the game isn't played on paper.
So, against all odds, Wednesday night's contest between Chicago and Memphis brought us a magnificent highlight in the game's final minute, courtesy of one referee. ROLL THE TAPE!
My goodness! Did you see that glorious pelvic thrust from the zebra? No? You need me to enhance? You got it, pal!
Some may argue that the ref is feeling himself a little too much in that moment. "There are kids around!" they might whine. Well, bringing your kids to a Bulls-Grizzlies game is no shining example of parenting, so don't throw stones at a glass house.
"I didn't pay all this money for courtside seats to have an official air-thrust in my face," they might clamor. Don't listen to rich people -- they're the worst.
Instead, let us praise this hero for his commitment to the oft-thankless craft of officiating. He's putting his blood, sweat and pelvis on the line for the sake of basketball. The result is simply poetry in motion.
Also, the Bulls handed the Grizzlies their 15th straight loss, if you care about that.