MORE: The child or the ball?

It is an established fact that the blessed union of Mr. Met and Mrs. Met is the bedrock certainty upon which the most cherished assumptions of Western Civilization rest. Now, though, comes the following tweet from Sluggerrr, mascot of and valet to the Fightin' Royals, and said tweet, I'm sure you'll agree, is pregnant with implications ... 

Color me aghast. 

Now please join me in seeing the world through a darker, profoundly more cynical lens.

Or maybe this photo was taken at the annual mascot key party during All-Star weekend, in which case Mr. Met has nothing to complain about, he himself having been complicit in those iniquities.