Fantasy Baseball Today: Drafting the best fictional Fantasy baseball team ever

We'll get back to real mock drafts for the 2020 Fantasy baseball season later this week, but we decided to have some fun on Monday's episode of the Fantasy Baseball Today podcast by drafting teams made up of fictional baseball players. And it was quite a bit of fun:

The rules were simple: Five hitters, two pitchers, from any fictional medium. I tried to cheat the rules by drafting Barry Bonds from Rookie of the Year — in my defense, though Bonds is playing himself in the movie, he is still on the Pirates despite the 1993 release date, which clearly establishes this as an alternate timeline from our own — but was ultimately voted down. No matter, there are plenty of true fictional players to choose from.

It should come as no surprise that the Major League franchise is most well-represented, with four picks coming from the first two movies in the franchise. A League of Their Own is well represented with two picks, but we split the other 15 picks among 15 different choices, from the good — The Sandlot, the best baseball movie ever, is represented — to the bad —  somehow, the No. 1 pick came from the largely forgotten Albert Brooks/Brendan Fraser vehicle, The Scout — to the bizarre — Scott White picked two video characters!

The draft took place between FBT host Adam Aizer, myself and Scott, and we went in a snake order through 21 picks. Here's what it looked like: 

Pick

Team

Player

From

 

1

Adam

Steve Nebraska, P

The Scout

 

2

Chris

Stan Ross, H

Mr. 3000

 

3

Scott

Pablo Sanchez, H/P

Backyard Baseball

 

4

Scott

Jon Dowd, OF

MVP Baseball 05

 

5

Chris

Clu Haywood, 1B

Major League

 

6

Adam

Roy Hobbs, OF

The Natural

 

7

Adam

Dottie Hinson, C

A League of Their Own

 

8

Chris

Bugs Bunny, P

Baseball Bugs

 

9

Scott

Mel Clark, P

Angels in the Outfield

10

Scott

Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn, P

Major League

 

11

Chris

Jack Parkman, C

Major League II

 

12

Adam

Henry Rowengartner, P

Rookie of the Year

 

13

Adam

Marla Hooch, IF

A League of Their Own

 

14

Chris

Snoopy, DH

Peanuts

 

15

Scott

Mighty Casey, DH

Casey At The Bat

 

16

Scott

Ben Williams, CF

Angels In The Outfield

 

17

Chris

Willie Mays Hayes, OF

Major League

 

18

Adam

Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez, SS

The Sandlot

 

19

Adam

 Kelly Leak, OF

Bad News Bears

 

20

Chris

 Billy Chappel, P

For Love of the Game

 

21

Scott

Robbie Belmont, C

Iron Mask Series

 

Let's go team by team to figure out who has the best squad — hint: it's me. But let us know whose team you liked the best @CBSFantasyBB on twitter, or join our Facebook Fantasy Baseball Today group!

Adam Aizer's Team    

1

Steve Nebraska, P

The Scout

6

Roy Hobbs, OF

The Natural

7

Dottie Hinson, C

A League of Their Own

12

Henry Rowengartner, P

Rookie of the Year

13

Marla Hooch, IF

A League of Their Own

18

Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez, SS

The Sandlot

19

Kelly Leak, OF

Bad News Bears

Nebraska would have been my first pick if Adam hadn't gotten there first, so no complaints. Nebraska tossed an 81-pitch perfect game with 27 strikeouts in Game 1 of the World Series and hit a 500-foot home run in the same game. He's Shohei Ohtani's fully evolved form.

Hobbs at sixth overall is a great value, too, though it's hard to say how to value him, given that he played just one partial season. That partial season was quite productive of course: 72 games, 307 PA, 171 hits, 42 doubles, 13 triples, 51 homers, 106 RBIs, 101 runs, 30 walks, 44 strikeouts, .557/.655/1.415, per Joe Posnanski. Eat your heart out, Mike Trout.

Things go a bit off rails from that point on. Rowengartner is a relief pitcher, so that's a reach this early, and Marla Hooch quit on the team midseason, so that's just a player you simply can't trust. Kelly Leak and Benny Rodriguez are do-it-all guys who round out the team nicely, however.

Chris Towers' Team

2

Stan Ross, 1B

Mr. 3000

5

Clu Haywood, 1B

Major League

8

Bugs Bunny, P

Baseball Bugs

11

Jack Parkman, C

Major League II

14

Snoopy, DH

Peanuts

17

Willie Mays Hayes, OF

Major League

20

 Billy Chappel, P

For Love of the Game

Absurdly stacked. Ross might be the greatest fictional baseball player of all time. Just check out the back of the card numbers:

Career .314 hitter with 312 home runs and 504 steals, and third all time in walks? Yes, please. Just check out that 1988 season: .306-122-19-129-40. A dominant Fantasy option.

The heart of my team is made up of Major League characters, with the big bads from both movies showing up. First up: Clu Haywood, who accomplished the Triple Crown in 1989 with a .341 average, 48 homers, 121 RBI. To quote legendary Indians announcer Harry Doyle, Haywood "leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair." Then you have catcher Jack Parkman, an obvious clubhouse liability in Major League II, but an offensive force for my squad — he joins the Indians in 1990 coming off a 42-homer season with the A's, a simply monstrous showing from a catcher in that time. And of course, the steal of the draft in the form of steals maestro Willie Mays Hayes, who bought 100 pairs of gloves for that season — one for each base he planned to steal.

But the secret weapons for my team are Bugs Bunny at pitcher, and Snoopy at DH. Bugs famously struck out three batters with a single pitch, while Snoopy was neck and neck with Hank Aaron in chasing Babe Ruth's home run record, coming up just short after Charlie Brown was picked off of second base. Good ol' Charlie Brown … how I hate him!

Scott White's Team

3

Pablo Sanchez, H/P

Backyard Baseball

4

Jon Dowd, OF

MVP Baseball 05

9

Mel Clark, P

Angels in the Outfield

10

Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn, P

Major League

15

Mighty Casey, DH

Casey At The Bat

16

Ben Williams, CF

Angels In The Outfield

21

Robbie Belmont, C

Iron Mask Series

Scott, who has been known to write while listening to video game music, unsurprisingly picked two video game characters, but they might be the best video game baseball players ever. Sanchez was a true four-tool player — Backyard Baseball only offered ratings for hitting, baserunning, pitching, and defense — despite his diminutive stature and paunch. Sanchez was a multi-sport athlete, too. And Dowd was the best player in the best video game of all time, serving as the game's fictional stand-in for Barry Bonds — Scott skirting the rules!

Scott clearly liked extreme players, otherwise. Rick Vaughn had great stuff, but true to his moniker, struggled to find the strike zone; Mighty Casey clearly struck fear into the heart of his opponents, but also struck out in his only recorded plate appearance; Mel Clark used to be Mel Clark, and for one magical season at the end of his career, found the fountain of youth.

And I've gotta be honest, I've never heard of Robbie Belmont. I'm often accused of being the hipster of the group, but Scott pulled this one out of nowhere. 

Fantasy Writer

Though he can be found covering three different sports depending on the time of year, there is one unifying theme in how Chris Towers approaches sports; "Where's the evidence?" It doesn't matter how outlandish... Full Bio

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