LOS ANGELES -- Regard, if you will, the comely western hillocks that wreath Dodger Stadium ...
"My," one is likely to say upon observing such a canvas, "look at those comely western hillocks wreathing Dodger Stadium."
Another sort of person upon observing such a canvas is likely to say, "Imagine if someone with nothing left to lose drove a 1969 Dodge Coronet 500 with a 318 4BBL 600 CFM carb with automatic transmission and dual exhaust down the side of that got-dang hill. Also assume that the Dodge has nothing left to lose."
Over the latter frames of Friday and Saturday's interminable and operatic Game 3 of the World Series, Red Sox utility infantryman Eduardo "After Dark" Nunez showed us what that would be like. Please observe the following color-television footage ...
The hottest mixtape of 2018 above sprawls more than 90 seconds, and as a harried executive you hardly have time for all of that. So here's a brief walking tour of Nunez's in-game business decisions ...
- 0:03 - Nunez gets dry-gulched by Austin Barnes.
- 0:21 - Nunez, at some level of personal hazard and discomfort, stops Enrique Hernandez for no gain.
- 0:48 - Nunez, ever the counterpuncher, reminds Rick Porcello that only the defeated traffic in proportional responses and that you shall know him by the trail of loosened incisors.
- 1:10 - Jeter's catch except ass-first, in keeping with industry best practices.
- 1:23 - Heat check.
And for priority inclusion in the first family photo album you grab in the event of a house fire ...
Also ...
And also ...
Note two things about all of this. One: All of these ritual abuses took place in the 13th inning or later. Practitioners of Good Living will recognize this is the sporting equivalent of not having your first drink until after 1 a.m. yet still managing to get arrested on multiple counts (2:1 misdemeanor-to-felony ratio). Two: Nunez was vigorously booed by Dodger fans at every turn for, in essence, experiencing physical pain on the jobsite. All involved parties are to be praised for this.
In righteous summation, Eduardo Nunez in Game 3 rushed for 81 yards on 53 carries. Eduardo Nunez, for one night, was a Dodge going down a mountain.
