Larry David: 'I could turn the fortunes of an NFL team around'

Larry David has some thoughts on how he would coach an NFL team. (USATSI)
You probably know Larry David as the co-creator of "Seinfeld," or the neurotic caricature of himself from "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Turns out, he also knows a lot about sports. So much so that he thinks he can run a football team. (Hey, don't dismiss it; Matt Millen ran a team for eight years. Weirder things have happened.)

“If they gave me a chance, I could turn the fortunes of an NFL team around,” David said during a recent appearance on the Rich Eisen Podcast (via Larry Brown Sports). “There’s no doubt in my mind. I write stories, so why couldn’t I draw up a play? What’s harder? I think a lot of writers could be offensive coordinators. I know I could do it.”

David also sounds like he'd take a page out of the Greg Schiano playbook when it comes to end-of-game kneeldowns, but without the part where he tries to steamroll unsuspecting opponents.

“Here’s one thing I wouldn’t do,” David said. “I wouldn’t be doing what Denver did at the end of that playoff game [last season against the Ravens]. I wouldn’t take a knee. How dare he take that knee? Peyton Manning’s your quarterback and you’re taking a knee?”

Fair point. Then again, if Rahim Moore didn't … well, you know.

More David:

* “You know what else I am? I’m a fourth down guy. I’m going on fourth. Think about this. Two-minute drives -- why are they always so successful? Why do these teams always score on two-minute drives? Because they use four downs, that’s why. If it’s 4th-and-40 I’ll punt, OK? But my philosophy is we’ve got four downs. Go with your four downs.”

* “Here’s the big mistake on defense -- they play these zones. They leave these big seams. So you see the players and they’re like, ‘There’s a guy here and there’s a guy here, so I’m gonna go in the middle and go like this!’ And the quarterback, who can throw a ball 100 mph, goes, ‘Oh look, I’ve got a guy open.’”

* “With me, I’m back in the school yard. I’ve got him, who do you got? If I’m the defensive coordinator, you’re not gonna see a running back out in the slot waiting as a safety valve when the quarterback can’t find a receiver. There’s not gonna be a safety valve in a David defense. You know why? That guys gonna be covered. You won’t have linebackers just standing around in a zone.”

Just a hunch, but we think you might be looking at the next Jets head coach.

CBS Sports Writer

Ryan Wilson has been an NFL writer for CBS Sports since June 2011, and he's covered five Super Bowls in that time. Ryan previously worked at AOL's FanHouse from start to finish, and Football Outsiders... Full Bio

Show Comments Hide Comments
Our Latest Stories
    All Access