Welcome to the calm before the storm -- the eve of the Stanley Cup playoffs. With a fresh postseason bracket in front of us and endless possibilities ahead, it's time to look at the grueling road ahead.
But who needs predictions when you can have guarantees?
Predictions are for cowards who don't have complete confidence in their projections. Me? I am always, 100 percent correct and that's why I have enough faith to offer you eight downright money-back guarantees as we head into the playoffs.
Auston Matthews will have more playoff points than last year
Oh yeah, check out this scalding hot take! I'm nothing if not bold. Matthews had just two points (a goal and an assist) during Toronto's seven-game run against the Bruins last season, and I'm willing to bet he at least matches that total against Boston this time around. Hell, I'll even get crazy and say he's gonna hit that in one game this year.
Pekka Rinne is either going to be really great or really crappy
Rinne once again had a very good regular season but it has almost become tradition at this point for him to get extremely hot and cold in the postseason. He has often a major piece of the reason Nashville advances, but he has also been a big reason why they've been eliminated. It seems likely he falls into at least one of those categories again this year.
At least one fanbase will complain that their team got screwed
This one seems pretty easy considering some fanbases are *already* complaining that their team got screwed and the playoffs haven't even started yet. With the NHL's current playoff format drawing plenty of ire for its tendency to feature heavyweight matchups in the opening rounds, there are going to be some good teams bounced early again this year -- and it's probably inevitable that some of their fans are going to leap at the opportunity to bemoan the playoff format. (Admittedly, it kinda sucks.) Of course, if it's not the playoff format, it'll be the refs or the league's video review center. Nuts and bolts, baby. Nuts and bolts.
Zdeno Chara will unleash hell on an opponent's poor soul
The 42-year-old Bruins defenseman is the second-oldest player in these playoffs, and he's also usually a mild-mannered guy who doesn't like to fight very often. But Chara was rather feisty down the stretch run for the Bruins, chucking knucks with Evander Kane and Matt Martin in the second half of the season and giving both of them a pretty rough ride. With playoff intensity kicking in and teams trying to get under each other's skin, don't be surprised if the Boston captain once again steps up as an intimidator. Also, a pretty good bet that Brad Marchand does something ridiculous.
Carolina's "Storm Surge" will make a surprise return
The Hurricanes said they were retiring their ceremonial postgame "Storm Surge" at the end of the regular season, but I say "not so fast." Maybe it won't return in its previous form, but the Surge captivated the hockey world and served as a rallying/bonding tool for the team this season. It became such a key part of their rebranding that I think it will work its way back into the mix for the Canes during the playoffs, at least in some fashion.
The Capitals and Penguins will meet in the second round
Obviously. You new here?
Martin Jones will be very good
OK, we really saved the boldest for last. The Sharks managed to wind up with the second seed in the Pacific Division despite finishing the season with the league's worst save percentage (.889). Jones finished at an abysmal .896 and there's plenty of reason to be down on him. However, what better way to make people forget about your horrendous season than by playing well in the playoffs? Jones has been a solid postseason performer throughout his career and this sport is so stupid and nonsensical that it would only make sense for him to suddenly remember how to play the position when it matters most.
