The Oscars are on Sunday, and youâre finally starting to realize that youâre not going to have time to watch all nine movies nominated for best picture.
Thatâs OK, youâve got a life. You canât just take 18 hours out of your existence to watch movies that you probably wonât even like that much just so you can be able to say, âYeah, I saw all the Oscar movies this year.â Itâs just not that important.
But in order to watch the Academy Awards with some sort of an educated opinion, you need to have at least some knowledge of the movies. So you could spend a bunch of time sorting through pretentious, esoteric, hipster reviews ... or you could just follow this guide, which compares every Oscar movie to a current NBA team.
You like movies. You like basketball. It just makes sense. Go with it.
"La La Land" - Golden State Warriors
The golden boy of awards season, âLa La Landâ is the movie everyone loves to hate -- sound familiar? This movie was penciled in as a best picture nominee before it was even released, much like the Warriors were expected to make (and probably win) the NBA Finals as soon as Kevin Durant signed with them last July. The movie is beautiful, just like the Warriors style of play, but many wonder whether the transcendent artistry and star-power are compensating for a lack of substance. This is almost too perfect.
"Manchester by the Sea" - Cleveland Cavaliers
Much like the Cavs, âManchester by the Seaâ is led by a big three but has an unquestioned star. Casey Affleck is LeBron James, putting the film on his shoulders and doing the heavy lifting to allow his supporting cast to shine. Michelle Williams, just like Kevin Love, is solid and underappreciated while Lucas Hedges is the young star catching everyoneâs attention with his flashy perfomance -- not unlike a young Kyrie Irving.
"Moonlight" - San Antonio Spurs
âMoonlightâ is a film thatâs total is greater than the sum of its parts, exactly like the Spurs. Sure it has great performances -- Mahershala Ali is the Kawhi Leonard, a calming, consistent presence that helps make all the other actors better -- but ultimately the film is an ensemble led by a fantastic director, Barry Jenkins. Or should we just call him âPop?â
"Hidden Figures" - Houston Rockets
On the surface âHidden Figuresâ is a crowd-pleaser, a feel-good story with incredible performances that leaves you with a good feeling after watching it. But still, a lot of people arenât sure if itâs a true âOscar movie.â Itâs just like the Houston Rockets, who a lot of people say are entertaining and exciting to watch, but wonât be able to sustain it once the playoffs start. But just like the Rockets, âHidden Figuresâ is much deeper than it appears on the surface, and its star power (Taraji P. Henson as the James Harden of the group) makes it great.
"Fences" - Oklahoma City Thunder
Led by a polarizing, dominant alpha male, âFencesâ is the Oklahoma City Thunder of the Oscar race. Much like Russell Westbrook, Denzel Washington blurs the line between greatness and madness while turning in a mind-boggling performance. Washingtonâs character, Troy Maxson, is so domineering and passionate that he ends up alienating his wife and partner, Viloa Davisâ character Rose, whom he has been taking for granted for years. The parallel to the Westbrook-Durant relationship speaks for itself.
"Arrival" - Boston Celtics
Thereâs nothing wrong with âArrival.â Itâs really, really good. But if you ask anyone if the movie has a chance to win best picture theyâll laugh in your face. This is just like the Boston Celtics, who have a really good team capable of getting to the brink of a title, but will ultimately continue to fall short. Just like Isaiah Thomas, Amy Adams does the best she can but just doesnât have enough help to take the movie to the next level.
"Lion" - Utah Jazz
There are no true stars in âLion,â which makes people hesitant to give it a chance to win best picture. But the story and strong performances are enough to make it worthy of consideration. The same is true for the Utah Jazz, who lack a true superstar but are so well constructed and disciplined in what they do that they find themselves toward the top of the Western Conference standings. Much like Gordon Haywardâs breakout year which earned him an All-Star appearance, Dev Patelâs breakout performance in âLionâ earned him a best supporting actor nomination. Just like after watching a Jazz game, you leave the theaters after watching âLionâ saying, âWow, that was better than I thought.â
"Hell or High Water" - Memphis Grizzlies
Thereâs no better phrase to describe âHell or High Waterâ than âgrit and grind,â which also happens to be the motto of the Memphis Grizzlies. Neither the movie nor the team is pretty, but they both just get the job done. Jeff Bridges is the Marc Gasol of the movie, holding everything together in a subtle yet powerful way. And just like the Grizzlies, âHell or High Waterâ continues to be underrated when compared to its peers.
"Hacksaw Ridge" - Atlanta Hawks
âHacksaw Ridge,â like the Atlanta Hawks, has stretches of brilliance bogged down by stretches of great inconsistency. The filmâs star, Andrew Garfield, is great and so is its director, Mel Gibson, but the movie somehow just lacks the oomph to push it over the top. The same is true for the Hawks, who ride All-Star Paul Millsap and coach Mike Budenholzer to consistent success, but just canât seem to make it over the hump.