Get Rich Eisen or die trying.  (USATSI)
Get Rich Eisen or die trying. (USATSI)

This was a big week/weekend in all sports, including some pretty important measurements and times taken at the draft combine. We also had a lot of big dunks, some big tributes, some big performances, some big guy eating a danish, and the Oscars, which are probably the most important part of the sporting world. Right?

Let's review the weekend that was:

What Happened in College Basketball

Chris Jones was back for a bit.  (USATSI)
Chris Jones was back for a bit. (USATSI)

JARELL MARTIN GOING RICKY DAVIS IN A GAME

Louisiana State University big man Jarell Martin is a pretty solid big man prospect in the upcoming draft. He has good skills, he's a gigantic human being, and his athleticsm allows him to do some fun things in games. In LSU's 70-63 win over Florida, Martin scored 28 points, grabbed 13 rebounds, and he threw down a between-the-legs dunk in transition like it was something you're supposed to do.

This dunk should remind everybody of the time more than a decade ago when Ricky Davis was on the Cleveland Cavaliers. The Cavs were down 20 in a game to the Sixers, but that just meant it was time for Ricky Davis to shine. He got a breakaway opportunity and put that thing between his legs before throwing down.

Amazingly, the dunk didn't count for 30 points so the Cavs probably lost that game. 

CHRIS JONES IS BACK FOR LOUISVILLE!

Louisville Cardinals guard Chris Jones has been in and out of the lineup this season, not for injury problems, but because he can't seem to keep himself from getting suspended by the school. He recently missed a game against Syracuse, which the Cardinals lost by 10. They probably could've used his dynamic talents and scoring ability against the Orange, but had to settle for the loss to get through to him.

But all is well in Kentucky. Jones returned against the Miami Hurricanes to score 17 points in the tight 55-53 win for Louisville. He showed off his scoring by coming off the bench for 36 big minutes and was the second leading scorer in the game behind Montrezl Harrell's 21 points. Jones scored 14 of his 17 points in the second half.

After the game, Jones was asked about coach Rick Pitino calling him a "knucklehead" and even told an amusing anecdote about Jones' mom's reaction to Pitino's assessment of her son.

It seems like Jones understands what's going on with his place on the team, knows he has to do right by the coach, and is ready to put his best foot forward for the rest of the season.

AND CHRIS JONES HAS BEEN KICKED OFF THE TEAM

WELP.

ROY WILLIAMS HONORED DEAN SMITH BY CALLING THE FOUR CORNERS OFFENSE

In much nicer news, North Carolina coach Roy Williams had a cool tribute to the late Dean Smith, who passed away recently. One of the many aspects of coaching Smith was famous for was the "Four Corners" offense. On the first play and for the first score of the game for the Tar Heels, Williams held up four fingers to call the infamous play set and Carolina got a bucket inside against Georgia Tech.

Brice Johnson got the pass from the Marcus Paige and completed the entire look of the throwback moment by UNC. They won 89-60.

MONTREZL HARRELL GOT A TECHNICAL FOUL FOR BEING GOOD AT DODGEBALL

Back to the Louisville-Miami game for a second, Harrell received a peculiar technical foul that I just can't condone. It's not the foul he committed that I can't condone, but it's the call for a technical foul. Harrell caught an offensive rebound and in an attempt to save the possession, he threw it off the face of a Hurricanes player standing out of bounds.

Is it Harrell's fault his opponent didn't know he had walked into a dodgeball game?

Harrell would dunk on the next possession, but think about if that had truly impacted the outcome of the close 55-53 finish. How could they have settled such a controversial call? Who would have mediated this situation?

What Happened in NFL Combine Action

Show us how you football.  (USATSI)
Show us how you football. (USATSI)

GEORGIA WIDEOUT CHRIS CONLEY IS MORE ATHLETIC THAN YOU

We had a lot of fun moments over the past week from the NFL combine, which is pretty weird when you think about the fact that it's just us measuring young adults and making them do short exercises so we can decide if they're good at football. There's really not a lot of football that happens at the combine. It's basically a giant Crossfit competition.

That didn't stop Georgia wide receiver Chris Conley from being crazy impressive with his athleticism and performance. He had a 45-inch vertical and a long jump of 11 feet, 7 inches, which doesn't even sound like a believable number.

He also ran a 4.35-second 40-yard dash. It was unofficially the fourth fastest 40-yard time and the vertical tied a record for the highest jump. Perhaps these numbers don't really do it for you though and you're dubious about his play at Georgia.

Just look at this pic below and tell me if you want and alien as your team's wideout.

Yeah, this guy is totally not an alien. (Getty)
Yeah, this guy is totally not an alien. (Getty)

DEFENSIVE END DANTE FOWLER, JR. RAN HIS 40 WITH A GOLD WATCH

Here's a pro-tip for the would-be pros trying to make a name for themselves at the draft combine: When you run your 40 time, make sure you're rocking a big gold watch on your wrist so you can keep your own time and stunt on the rest of the competition. That's what Florida defensive lineman Dante Fowler, Jr. did for his 40-yard dash.

While running a 4.61-second 40-yard dash, which sounds pretty fast for a guy clocking in at 6'3" and 261 lbs, Fowler was sporting his gold watch.

Did this weigh him down at all?  (NFL Network)
Did this weigh him down at all? (NFL Network)

I'm pretty sure the NFL would fine him for wearing that in a game, unless Rolex becomes an official sponsor of the National Football League, but until someone tells him he can't wear it, he should be flashy in all of his workouts and football endeavors with it on.

THE NFL REALLY DOES HAVE THE FINEST ATHLETIC SPECIMENS IN THE WORLD

The great thing about the draft combine is you get to see all of the greatest athletes trying to make the NFL shine in what they do best. Whether that's a foot race, agility tests, vertical leap, throwing a football, catching a football, showing a high IQ, or showing off your strength with the bench press, these guys get to show just how great they are from a physical and mental standpoint.

Just like Rob Ryan...

What Happened in the NBA

Cousins doesn't want to see what he did. (USATSI)
DeMarcus Cousins doesn't want to see what he did. (USATSI)

DEANDRE JORDAN GAVE MARCO BELINELLI THE BOOT

There are a lot of things you can do when Los Angeles Clippers' center DeAndre Jordan is coming down the lane and catching a pass to go up for a dunk.

You can go grab a courtside seat to check out what he's about to do. You can go talk to your coach and make sure you guys are on the same page with timeout and foul situations. You can look at Clippers' owner Steve Ballmer and see if he's dancing. You can look to see if Frankie Muniz is still going to Clippers games. You can even get some stretching in to make sure you're limber or you can give a hard foul to Jordan to ensure he can't do anything but go to the free throw line.

What you can't do is be like San Antonio Spurs' guard Marco Belinelli and show off an inferior vertical leap while giving up six inches of height and probably 10 inches of wingspan to someone who can jump up and touch the jumbotron. This wasn't quite the burial of Brandon Knight from a few years ago, but it was pretty close.

Get out of the way and live to take a charge another day.

SLAP ANDREW WIGGINS IN THE FACE AND HE'LL DUNK ON YOU

Minnesota Timberwolves' rookie Andrew Wiggins has shown over the last two months that he's pretty much the real deal and will run away with the Rookie of the Year voting. His athleticism is quite the sight to behold. And if you're a defender, you're going to have to learn to not let him get a straight line to the basket with the ball or you may end up on a poster of his. Actually, I'm not sure they still sell posters. You'll end up on a Vine or a YouTube mix of his.

One tactic Markieff Morris of the Phoenix Suns recently tried to deter the young Canadian rookie from trying to drive to the basket was by slapping Wiggins in the face as he went up for a dunk. Amazingly, this didn't work and Wiggins still threw down one of his best dunks of his young NBA career. 

Maybe try throwing a blanket over his head and see if he'll just fall asleep like a bird in a cage might do? 

DEMARCUS COUSINS IS A FREIGHT TRAIN FROM HELL

Remembe the DeAndre Jordan dunk above? I can't stress enough how much you can't stand in there and try to take a charge against Sacramento Kings' Level 6 Kaiju DeMarcus Cousins. Jae Crowder of the Boston Celtics had about 70 feet to assess the situation and determine that he either had to get outside the restricted area or walk away to see if there was anybody in the front row to talk to while Cousins ran this break.

The result was Cousins obliterating Crowder like Crowder had been tied down to the train tracks by some mustachioed villain from an old western movie.

Choo choo.

J.R. SMITH AND IMAN SHUMPERT SCORCHING THE GARDEN

J.R. Smith and Iman Shumpert were the part of a really embarrassing time in New York Knicks' history, which is saying something when you look at the entire James Dolan era. Shumpert was not really so much a part of the embarrassment as he was an innocent bystander of the Knicks as a whole and Mike Woodson's coaching decisions. Smith, however, was right at the forefront of a lot of the weird headlines.

Regardless of who was at fault there, both players escaped from calling the Knicks home earlier this season when they were traded to the Cleveland Cavaliers. The newest teammates of LeBron James are now playing for something real. When they returned to Madison Square Garden for the first time for a Sunday matinee, the result was a blowout victory in their favor and they had one of the top highlights from the action.

That Shumpert-to-J.R. alley-oop was a thing of beauty and Smith put a little bit extra on the finish. The hug and jubilation afterward was reminiscent of Red and Andy in Shawshank Redemption when they meet up again on a beach in Mexico.

You can enjoy much more from that game in Phantom Slow-Mo too!

What Happened at the Oscars

McConoughbeard. (Oscars)
McConoughbeard. (Oscars)

THIS PERFORMANCE OF "GLORY" BY JOHN LEGEND AND COMMON WAS PHENOMENAL AND THE ACCEPTANCE SPEECH WAS POWERFUL

So much happened in the four-plus presentation of the 87th Academy Awards, but one of the coolest moments happened when Common and John Legend performed "Glory" from the movie Selma. It's a great song for a critically acclaimed movie, and the song ended up winning the Oscar for best original song.

Enjoy the performance:

After they won, their acceptance speech was a powerful and moving message that will bring criticism from plenty but will hopefully break through to many.

The one thing about the moment that everybody should worry about is Common hitting Oprah with the pump fake on the high-five before celebrating with Selma actor David Oyelowo. You do not bypass Oprah like that on national television and expect to get another part in one of her movies. 

He better hope the script for Just Wright 2 gets finished soon.

A MAN THANKED HIS DOG

Forgive me for not remembering what these guys won for, but just know that one of the guys thanked his dog in the acceptance speech.

THEY GAVE OPRAH A LEGO OSCAR

The song "Everything is awesome" from The Lego Movie was performed and during the performance, they started giving out Lego Oscar trophies. 

I haven't seen Oprah this excited since she gave everybody a car.

EDDIE REDMAYNE COULDN'T BELIEVE HE WON BEST ACTOR

Eddie Redmayne won Best Actor for his portrayal of Stephen Hawking in The Theory of Everything. It took a couple of seconds before it truly hit him that he had won the award over Michael Keaton (Birdman), Steve Carell (Foxcatcher), Benedict Cumberbatch (The Imitation Game), and Bradley Cooper (American Sniper). 

This is how you Oscars.

AND JOHN TRAVOLTA WAS...

There was this...

Great job by Benedict Cumberbatch to sneak a flask into the awards show because sometimes that's what it takes to get through these productions. 

We're at a point with John Travolta and his plastic face in which the correct pronunciation of "Idina Menzel" brings about some applause for him. But this is why he was applauded for getting that name correctly this time.

I'll take the screw-up from Travolta here rather than the correct pronunciation because it didn't involve him awkwardly grabbing her face.

Yikes...

That is not how you Oscars.