Earlier this offseason, Phil Kessel was traded to the Arizona Coyotes, bringing an end to his tenure in Pittsburgh after four seasons. As such, the former Penguins winger has listed his Pennsylvania home for sale and is on the market for $2.1 million.
Unfortunately, that's out of my price range and it's likely out of of yours as well (if it's not, congratulations and also I hate you). But thanks to the wonders of the internet, you can go ahead and take a virtual tour of the entire mansion, which appears to be an expectedly nice place to live.
With Kessel being one of the more eccentric and enigmatic personalities in the NHL, it's only fair to be curious about the place he called home for several years. How does a guy like that live? What's his decor look like? Where does he stockpile the hot dogs?
These are all questions that were too pressing to ignore, so we went ahead and toured Casa de Kessel. Here are some takeaways from a look into the home life of one of the NHL's most interesting men.
8. He loves motivational collage posters
A quick stroll through the main floor of Kessel's home and you'll find multiple large wall hangings featuring generic motivational sayings like "Today is the day!" and "Don't panic!" They don't exactly explain what today is "the day" for or what there is to panic about, but the sayings are layered over random collages. Mildly odd, but let's keep moving.
7. There's a ping pong room
Of course there is. Kessel is a notoriously skilled and intense ping pong player, with his teammates often remarking that he's borderline unbeatable. I suppose it helps when you have a ping pong thunderdome in the man cave of your basement. I'd be willing to wager that's a giant two-way mirror for secretly scouting opponents.
6. A wine room to store his Bailey's
Maybe Kessel took all his full-bodied reds with him to Arizona, but I choose to believe that his wine room is used almost exclusively for cream-based liqueur.
5. He hangs his sweatpants
To be fair, those are his "going out" sweatpants.
4. Wall Street better watch out
Stock trading bros have been put on notice. "How To Make Money In Stocks" is a national bestseller with over two million copies sold, presumably mostly to people who google "how to make money in stocks."
3. An appreciation of fine art
Had to double-check my browser URL and make sure I didn't accidentally land on the website for The Louvre.
2. The loneliest cinema
As someone who staunchly believes that going to the movies alone is one of life's greatest pleasures, I respect this home theater tremendously. Don't even open up the possibility of someone joining you. It's how a true theater connoisseur rolls.
That being said, I'm not entirely sure about the framed "Glitter" poster.
1. This room
The most interesting and deeply unsettling room of the Kessel house.