As the woke among us know, fellow primate Harambe may have been summarily executed in his zii enclosure for nothing more than the crime of babysitting. Still affronted by the alleged assassination of the world's most beloved Western lowland gorilla, Nationals outfielder Bryce Harper paid righteous tribute to our hero before Game 5 of the NLDS against the Dodgers. Please regard ...

Yes, that is indeed the image of Harambe covering the knob of Harper's implement during batting practice.

This is both deeply touching and quite practical, as the scientific method has proved that paying obeisance to Harambe can affect sports outcomes. That's why Harper's Nationals on Thursday night will vanquish the Dodgers by a margin of one run.

RIP, our hairy boy.