Fittingly shared via Twitter by @PhillyFanLife, the Twin Cities station recently sought insight on traveling to Philadelphia for this weekend's Eagles-Vikings clash, and the segment unfolded more like a survival guide to people wanting to relocate to a dystopian society:
First comes the narration from reporter Rob Olson, who says Sunday "could be a fun day but also comes with a warning" and then doubles down on his weary approach from the get-go: "If you're planning to go to the game in Philly or even thinking about it, you should be warned."
If Vikings fans aren't scared from his introduction alone, they will be by the time Steve Erban, co-owner of Minnesota's Creative Charters travel agency, makes his appearance. Standing directly next to a Vikings flag while decked out in Vikings colors and a Vikings hat, Mr. Erban wastes no time casting an assumption over the entire Linc crowd with this gem: "So I would advise you not to be over-inebriated, because they will be."
Erban and his wife, Dorothy, who also has no qualms wearing a Vikings jacket on the segment, are apparently offering one-day flights to and from Philly for Sunday's conference title game, and that trip includes "guidance from them going into Lincoln Financial Field, which can be rough."
(Friendly reminder that, at this point in the program, there have yet to be any discussions of Vikings fans simply staying home to avoid such horrors.)
But if the Erbans don't leave you shaking in your shorts as a Minnesota fan eyeing a visit to Philadelphia, the Minneapolis-based Ticket King resale agency might. Up next in FOX 9's warm endorsement of Eagles faithful is Drew Baydala, who works for the ticket broker and has the most painful description of Birds fans yet: "If the Vikings win, yes, I would take off any sort of, like, colors. I know it sounds ridiculous like we're almost talking about gangs here, but it's no joke down in Philly. It really isn't."
As the segment returns to our "Twilight Zone" host, Rob Olson, we get one final reminder of Philly's daunting atmosphere: "Yeah, it gets pretty notorious out there."
In all seriousness, Eagles fans are known for their passion, and that passion has long equated to infamy among rival fan bases, especially after a decades-old run-in with a halftime Santa Claus show to which the rest of the world continues to cling. But it's also fair to wonder whether anyone who's comfortable using the word "gangs" to describe Lincoln Financial Field's crowd has ever, you know, been to Lincoln Financial Field.
In any event, maybe this is exactly what Eagles fans want.
If, maybe traveling to Philadelphia really will be.