It's Monday, so you know what time it is. Yes, it's time to resume slowly withering away to nothing during another splendid week at the office. Fun! But it's also time for our weekly installment of taking NFL player celebrations way too seriously with some full-on breakdowns and unnecessary grades.
Let's get to it, shall we?
Phil Dawson's sideline wave
Cardinals 42-year-old kicker Phil Dawson stepped up in a huge moment Sunday when he drilled a 57-yard winner just before the gun. Considering the kick won the contest and was the longest of Dawson's career, you would think he would find a fun way to celebrate this one with his team -- especially after Jaguars kicker Josh Lambo earned top celebratory honors with his soccer slide a few weeks ago.
Alas, no dice.
Dawson let his age and experience get the better of him, deciding to act like he would been there before. Instead of busting out a celly, he immediately urged his team to stay on the sideline so it would not get penalized and hurt their chances of winning before the lone remaining second ticked off the clock. I don't ask for much in life, but when a middle-aged man hits a 57-yard field goal to win a professional football game, I expect some shenanigans. Boo this smart, composed man!
Grade: F
when you spot your friend that you're throwing a surprise party for pic.twitter.com/FyXJX8TLIT
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 27, 2017
Chiefs' team photo
We've seen a lot of group celebrations in the NFL this year, and we've learned some valuable lessons surrounding them as well. The first rule of group celebrations? They need to be planned and practiced for best results. After catching a touchdown on Sunday, the Chiefs' Albert Wilson II attempted to organize a team photo on the fly and it yielded uninspiring results.
Not only was it somewhat painful to watch Wilson try to direct his confused teammates, but a few of them ran over to join in before ultimately deciding they didn't want any part of it. (No. 76 hopped out of there real quick.) They didn't miss out on much.
Grade: D-
.@iThinkIsee12 catches touchdowns and organizes the @Chiefs team photos 📸📸📸 #KCvsBUF pic.twitter.com/YZBk9aQ9G5
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 26, 2017
Luckily for Wilson and the Chiefs, the Eagles were able to provide an example of a good team photo celebration.
The @Eagles getting their Christmas card ready 🎄🦅 pic.twitter.com/8t34lMQbqu
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 26, 2017
Ziggy Ansah rolls
In years past, we've seen the Lions' Ziggy Ansah celebrate big plays on Thanksgiving with a wonderful "Turkey Dance." This year, though, we got something different from the veteran defensive end. After a big sack on third down, Ansah appeared to give his interpretation of a turkey rolling around on the ground, which was ... interesting. Some of the blame may go to Ansah's teammate for falling on him as he was trying to get up, but we've come to expect more from Ansah on Thanksgiving.
Grade: C-
me trying to get up from the thanksgiving table pic.twitter.com/XKUsQRKuWc
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 23, 2017
Joe Mixon dances
The Bengals' rookie running back had a breakout performance on Sunday, rushing for more than 100 yards and a touchdown in Cincinnati's win over the Browns. He also showed off some solid dance moves, which I won't even try to interpret or comprehend. Instead, I'll just award points taking center stage and delivering with confidence.
Grade: C
Not your average Joe 🕺 #NFLCelebrations pic.twitter.com/h2V8XQUvyU
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 26, 2017
Ride 'em, cowboy
Toward the end of the Patriots' divisional win over Miami on Sunday, Brandin Cooks hitched a ride with Rob Gronkowski by hopping on the tight end's back and riding him like a horsie. While it was funny and entertaining, I'm sure it was not pre-approved by Bill Belichick, who doesn't particularly care for elaborate celebrations -- especially when they involve his star tight end, who has had back issues in the past, carrying another grown man.
Gronk's got some serious horsepower. 🐎 #NFLCelebrations pic.twitter.com/e0Fd4gaeB0
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 26, 2017
Thankfully Gronk managed to transport Cooks without getting hurt. The tight end was asked about the celebration after the game but said he couldn't talk about it because he'd "get in trouble," only insisting that it was not pre-planned.
Help Gronk out. What should he do? 🤔
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 26, 2017
(via @chad_amaral) pic.twitter.com/ArX4cYGp4Z
I guess we have to award a few points for mystery here. That's a new one.
Grade: B-
Delanie Walker performs CPR
There's no better celebration to help bring your team back to life than by performing CPR on the football. I think Walker's cadence was a bit too quick, but I give him credit for checking to see if the ball was breathing in between his compressions. (Also, it's incredibly hilarious that the announcer thought Walker was "burping the baby" here. Just a FYI for prospective parents out there: This is not how you burp a baby.)
Grade: B
.@delaniewalker82 and the @Titans offense are coming to LIFE! pic.twitter.com/VG0Y6rLgKK
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 26, 2017
Robby Anderson takes a snooze
Jets wide receiver Robby Anderson has been on fire lately. On Sunday, he caught two touchdown passes, making it five straight weeks with a TD reception on his box score. Finding pay dirt has become so ordinary that Anderson is now just celebrating his scores by taking naps in the end zone. It's simple, it's cocky, it's excellent.
Grade: B
1️⃣ Take it to the house
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 26, 2017
2️⃣ Make yourself right at home#NFLCelebrations pic.twitter.com/F966OIfa0N
Vikings' Thanksgiving dinner
During Minnesota's Thanksgiving Day victory over the Lions, the Vikings celebrated an early touchdown by sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner in the end zone. It started off a little sloppy and disjointed -- they almost forgot to grab the football for the table's centerpiece -- but it eventually delivered and turned out to be a very respectable (and timely) celly. However, it's only a true Thanksgiving dinner when one of their uncles shows up to drunkenly spew his opinions on politics.
Grade: B+
The @Vikings are eating early today 🍽 #HappyThanksgiving #NFLCelebrations pic.twitter.com/veQmdvFzhW
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 23, 2017
Eagles' Electric Slide
The Eagles' offense has proven to be very good at both scoring and celebrating this year. On Sunday, though, Philly's defense also seized an opportunity to show of their celebration skills. After forcing a turnover, the Eagles' D got together for a group performance of "Electric Slide" -- a classic you'll remember from all your middle school dances. The execution was quite solid, especially without the musical accompaniment.
Grade: B+
When you're as good as the @Eagles, you can do the #ElectricSlide on the field ⚡️🕺#NFLCelebrations pic.twitter.com/wHUOfkIIvX
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 26, 2017
Pacman Jr.
Adam "Pacman" Jones welcomed a newborn son on Saturday night, so when he (seemingly) scored a touchdown via punt return on Sunday, the cornerback pretended to give birth to the football before teammate Dre Kirkpatrick held it up like he was recreating the scene from "The Lion King." Unfortunately for Jones, the touchdown was nullified by a penalty, so that always hurts the celebration grade. Still, the thought and execution was there.
Grade: B+
Last night, @REALPACMAN24 welcomed a son...and now the football is Simba 😄❤️ pic.twitter.com/40tB1lN5H4
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 26, 2017
Light Work
After catching a long touchdown from Mohamed Sanu (yes, you read that right), Julio Jones celebrated by playing some "Red Light, Green Light" with his teammates as they ran downfield to congratulate him. It's just the latest in a long line of popular children's games that have been worked into celebrations this year, but they never seem to get old. Plus, the Falcons typically only stop running when it's the second half of the Super Bowl.
Grade: A-
RED LIGHT 🚦 GREEN LIGHT 🚦#NFLCelebrations pic.twitter.com/gMpb54TU0Y
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 26, 2017
Eagles go bowling
The Philadelphia Eagles continue to knock over opponents like they're bowling pins, so it only made sense for them to put together a bowling celebration at some point. It was Alshon Jeffery rolling a strike as the rest of his teammates took formation as pins doomed to fall. It's not often you get to see all 11 guys buy into (and properly execute) a group celebration, but the Eagles have been surprising us all year long.
Grade: A-
Touchdown Strike, @Eagles! 🎳 #NFLCelebrations pic.twitter.com/N32AGFY1Qs
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 26, 2017
Can’t believe the Eagles would mock the Bears' first-half performance with this TD celebration… pic.twitter.com/hclDttF9Ak
— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) November 26, 2017
Bonus disrespectful content: The Eagles got so bored of beating up the Bears that they decided to play Tic-Tac-Toe on the bench. That may seem pretty disrespectful and mean, but football has always been a game of X's and O's.
The @Eagles were having so much fun, they started playing Tic Tac Toe on the sideline 😂 pic.twitter.com/U1Oratb6Na
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 27, 2017