This is a terr-- I MEAN delightful Thursday night matchup on CBS Sports and NFL Network. Stream it on CBS All Access! (Seriously, CBS All Access is great. Get your free trial here.) It's a tough game to handicap, because the defenses are both great and the offenses are both terrible. I don't love taking the Dolphins as a road team after losing Jay Cutler, but the Ravens have been terrible everywhere, including at home. Just give me the points in an ugly "defensive battle."
The Pick: Dolphins +3
Credit: USATSI
Vikings (-9.5) at Browns
Hello, London! We are proud to present to you, Case Keenum against DeShone Kizer. Aren't you excited? The analysis here is pretty simple: I don't believe that the Browns can manage to score more than 10 points against the Vikings defense and I believe the Vikings can score three touchdowns (two on the ground for Latavius Murray, one defensive from Anthony Barr) and waltz to a win overseas.
The Pick: Vikings -9.5
Credit: USATSI
Panthers (+2.5) at Buccaneers
Carolina looked horrible against the Bears on the road and there is major panic about offensive coordinator Mike Shula in the Queen City this week. Fortunately for Shula and for Cam Newton, there is no tonic like a road game against a terrible defense. It worked last time against the Patriots in Foxborough and it's going to work this time against the Buccaneers in Tampa. An ugly MNF game doomed Carolina last year but the Panthers shred Tampa and bounce back this week.
The Pick: Panthers +2.5
Credit: USATSI
Jets (+4) vs. Falcons
If you handicap this game before the season, the Falcons are roughly a 35-point favorite. Are we sure they should even be favored at all? The offense can't get going, managing just 41 points in the last three games against AFC East opponents. The Jets defense has done good work this season and Josh McCown and Co. have been a much more entertaining offense than people give them credit for. I like the Jets, who are 3-0 as a home dog this year, to win outright or at least lose close late.
The Pick: Jets +4
Credit: USATSI
Saints (-9) vs. Bears
Don't love taking a heavy favorite but the Saints have a case as the most balanced team in the NFC this year. Drew Brees is playing excellent football and there is some good balance thanks to the departure of Adrian Peterson -- Mark Ingram has been fantastic the last two games. The Bears offense has been struggling and normally the Saints would be a nice tonic for that, but the New Orleans defense might be legit this year.
The Pick: Saints -9
Credit: USATSI
Chargers (+7.5) at Patriots
The Patriots really got rolling against the Falcons last week, but the Chargers aren't worried about any hangover or looking good against New England. Philip Rivers is just thrilled for a road game away from StubHub Center. The Chargers are a decent matchup here too. They are able to move the ball and the defense presents a problem for the Patriots. Joey Bosa has been playing out of his mind the last several games and is making a quiet DPOY push right now.
The Pick: Chargers +7.5
Credit: USATSI
Bengals (-10) vs. Colts
This is Vegas BEGGING people to take the Colts, because the Bengals have not been good this year for the most part and they are a 10-point favorite at home. It's insane. But the Colts are just terrible. They can't do anything well and they certainly can't defend a Bengals offense that has playmakers. This has "Joe Mixon Breakout Game" written all over it, with Andy Dalton hitting A.J. Green deep early and setting up a "melt the clock/jailbreak" situation.
The Pick: Bengals -10
Credit: USATSI
49ers (+13) at Eagles
Bang the first-half line for the Eagles on this 1 p.m. ET start but take the 49ers for the full game. Philadelphia is coming off a huge win at home on a short week, has taken control of the division, Carson Wentz is getting tons of MVP hype and everyone is going to back the Eagles. The 49ers just got demolished. But Jason Peters' absence is going to be felt in a big way this week. San Francisco keeps it close enough to cover.
The Pick: 49ers +13
Credit: USATSI
Bills (-2.5) vs Raiders
The Raiders saved their season with a Thursday win over the Chiefs that featured a wild finish and gives them a 10-day break before this East Coast matchup. But the Bills are playing good defense and are a well-coached team with a homefield advantage and a chip on their shoulder, not to mention a major tiebreaker concern here for the AFC wild card race. LeSean McCoy runs wild and the Bills steal one.
The Pick: Bills -2.5
Credit: Mark Konezny / USA TODAY Sports
Seahawks (-5.5) vs. Texans
There could be a lot of people backing the Texans in this spot, with Deshaun Watson playing out of his mind. He's secretly like a top-10 MVP candidate at his point, and I'm not kidding. But it's a rookie quarterback heading into one of the toughest places to play, with the Seahawks coming off another impressive win and playing better than people think. Give me the home team with a great defense and Richard Sherman against a rookie.
The Pick: Seahawks -5.5
Credit: USATSI
Redskins (+2.5) vs. Cowboys
Dallas obliterated the 49ers on the road last week and the Redskins struggled against the Eagles, but kept it closer than it looked outside of a hot stretch from Carson Wentz. They need to bounce back quickly but this is a good matchup for Kirk Cousins against a questionable Dallas defense. It's a must-win game for the Redskins, a do-or-die situation and they should get Josh Norman back. Give me the home dog in a divisional game.
The Pick: Redskins +2.5
Credit: USATSI
Lions (+3) vs. Steelers
The Steelers might very well be the most complete and dangerous team in the NFL -- and I wrote just as much in Sorting the Sunday Pile this week -- but they have a bad habit of going on the road and laying eggs against inferior teams. The Lions qualify, but they're actually good and always keep games close. I like them to do just that in this matchup and even pull off the upset against Pittsburgh to give us another week of Steelers drama.
The Pick: Lions +3
Credit: Chuck Cook / USA TODAY Sports
Broncos (+7.5) at Chiefs
Second straight divisional opponent for the Chiefs that finds itself in a do-or-die game. The line is a little fishy because it feels like I'm being begged to take the Broncos, but 7.5 points is too much for a divisional game where the Broncos have to try and win or find themselves under .500 and staring last place in the AFC West down. Demaryius Thomas comes up with a big game and the Broncos lose late.
