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Welcome to Snyder's Soapbox! Here I pontificate about a matter related to Major League Baseball on a weekly basis. Some of the topics will be pressing matters, some might seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things and most will be somewhere in between. The good thing about this website is it's free and you are allowed to click away. If you stay, you'll get smarter, though, that's a money-back guarantee. Let's get to it.

Did everyone see the Bryce Harper ejection at Coors Field just over a week ago? 

Obviously, we can't hear everything that was said there, but it sure seems like the umpire had an itchy trigger finger. 

Part of me imagines a kid in the Denver area dreaming of seeing Bryce Harper in person someday. The kid's parents save up and surprise the child with tickets. The excitement builds. Finally, I get to see Bryce Harper! 

And he's tossed in the middle of the first inning. 

There's always the realistic chance something like this happens. I'm not saying the umpires should never eject anyone, because a lot of times they deserve it. And maybe Bryce did deserve this one. Again, we have no idea what was said. Harper certainly looked shocked when the ejection happened, though, so I'm guessing he wasn't saying anything too bad, at least in his mind. 

The root of the problem here, though, isn't the umpires themselves. Yeah, they are part of it and sometimes could stand to take a bit more flack without needing to flex their muscles with a theatrical ejection. The biggest issue for me is they don't have any other recourse when a player, manager or coach is going off on them. That's why you see them yelling back sometimes, which feels unique to baseball. 

In football, there's an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. In basketball, there's a technical foul. In soccer, there's a yellow card. In hockey, there's misconduct. 

In baseball, it's all or nothing. No blood whatsoever or an ejection.

Shouldn't there be a middle ground to serve as a bit of a warning while also slightly punishing the offender without going straight to the ejection? 

I must warn you before diving in that this won't be for everyone. There are some serious suggestions and some not-so-serious. If you get worked up easily, you probably should find a straight news article somewhere else on our fine site. 

Please enjoy, but also keep in mind I'm dead serious about there needing to be some sort of recourse for the umpires between just taking it and ejecting someone. 

An arguing violation

It's very simple, right? When someone goes over the line for the first time in a game, there's no need to go straight to the showers. How about just a violation. A second gets the person ejected. The umpires need a way to signal that a violation has been committed and I'm partial to tossing their hat.

Think about the added drama and, yes, humor to the situation. A manager is going off on the home plate umpire and the ump then rips off his mask and theatrically throws his hat into the air. 

Beautiful. 

I'm open to this also being a flag, a colored card or a hand signal (like the "T" in hoops). My insane colleague Dayn Perry suggested one umpire rushing behind home plate to bang a giant gong and now I can't stop laughing thinking about this. We're always open to ideas here at the Soapbox. 

Moving forward, keep in mind with any of these punishments that we'll also have a "two means an ejection" clause tacked on. 

The Penalty Box

Hey, we'll draw from hockey here. If a player commits his first violation, he needs to visit the penalty box for the next inning. That means if his spot in the batting order comes up, not only is it skipped but it's an automatic out. When the team of the violator is in the field, they'll be playing down a man. 

This would actually be a substantial penalty, right? Major deterrence? 

Automatic balls/strikes

This is a bit less steep. Once there's a violation, it's an automatic strike (if the violating team is at bat) or ball (if the violating team is on defense). 

We could also move to automatic outs on the offense or taking outs away from the defense? Maybe that's too strict. I don't know. We're just spitballing here! 

The Dunce Punishment

If it's a position player, he'll be required to wear a dunce helmet for the entirety of his next at-bat. If it's a pitcher, he's required to wear a dunce cap for the next batter he faces. 

The Moving Fence

This was the bright idea of my father, so come forth with your "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" comments. There would be a set distance for a violation. We'll call it 25 feet. 

If the violator is on defense, the outfield wall moves in 25 feet for the remainder of the inning. If the violator is on offense, the outfield wall moves back 25 feet for the next inning. 

The Heavy Bat

If the violator is an offensive player, he'll be required to use an extra-heavy bat next time he digs in. We're talking at least double, so something in the 70-80 ounce range. If the violator is a defensive player, it'll just be the next batter from that team. Peer pressure is a good deterrent. 

Seriously, though, I'm still laughing about the gong. Just picturing a random umpire sprinting in from second base to bang a gong while a player is losing his mind is off-the-charts funny.