Bengals cornerback Adam Jones was involved in a car accident early Tuesday morning in Ohio, according to TMZ, and there's video of the damage to his Rolls Royce, as well as his reaction to the damage done to the passenger's side of the vehicle.
You can view Jones' unvarnished unsafe-for-work play-by-play here, or you can read the sanitized transcript below.
"[My fellow citizen] done ran straight into me, man!" Jones said in the video obtained by TMZ. "Get the [heck] outta here! [Dagnabbit], man! [Stuffin'] don't make no [stuffin'] sense! ... [My fellow citizen] done pulled out and hit me. They talkin' about anger management at work, normally I'd smack the [stuffin'] outta a [fellow citizen] who do [stuffin'] like that. Stupid [fellow citizen]. ...
"[This fine automobile] is going up for sale, I can tell you that, [dagnabbit]. I'm fixin' to get this [fine automobile] fixed and I'm fixin' to get this [fine automobile] out my driveway. [FUDGE] man! I gotta buy a whole new [stuffin'] car."
The aforementioned anger-management classes are in reference to Jones' arrest in January, which included a felony harassment charge. In March, the felony charge was dropped in part because of Jones' willingness to enter alcohol-related and anger management treatment.
Jones, 33, began his NFL career with the Titans, where he was the No. 6 pick in the 2005 NFL Draft. He was suspended for the 2007 season for violation of the NFL player conduct policy. He was traded to the Cowboys before the 2008 season. By October, he was suspended again, this time for six games. He was released in early 2009, didn't play during the '09 season, and signed with the Bengals in May 2010. He has been in Cincinnati ever since, and for the first time in his NFL career, started all 16 games last season.
Jones signed a three-year, $22 million deal in March 2016.