Here's an important news flash: As of now, my fingers are feeling fine, my eyes aren't burning, my brain is flying from all the Week 9 football action, but my rear end is sore from sitting and watching the games. Therefore, I am officially probable to complete this week's Fantasy & Reality column.

Now, if my eyes were hurting me and my hands were sore, then maybe I'd be questionable. If a new hurricane swept through South Florida, I'd say I'd be doubtful. If I won the lottery, you better believe I'd be out.

To a much more serious degree, this is how plain and obvious the NFL injury report should be. No mind games by head coaches, no guessing games by the trainers and no downgrading the day before a game. And definitely no more doubtful-to-questionable-to-"I'm definitely playing"-to-suspended indefinitely anymore. How angry are Terrell Owens owners now (myself included)? One day he's apologizing to the media and telling radio hosts that he's going to play at Washington, the next day he's suspended anywhere from one game to the rest of the season. Thanks for the love, T.O.

Owens wasn't the only player to draw heat in Week 9, and this week wasn't the only time the injury report wreaked havoc on Fantasy players. Texans RB Domanick Davis, who ran like a madman last year in Jacksonville and would be facing the Jaguars fresh off of getting steamrolled by Steven Jackson, went from probable to questionable to out with inflammation in the knee. And then there's Roy Williams and Brandon Jones, both of whom were active and dressed and played but couldn't stay on the field long enough to record even a catch. What's up with that?! Does every coach in the NFL have to do everything Bill Belichick does (remember when Corey Dillon was active but didn't play a few weeks back in Denver)?

If you're like me, you're frustrated with the whole injury report dilemma. So here are some rules I tend to go by when it comes to deciphering the magic code in the game of "Will he start?"

• If a player does not practice on the Friday before his game, he is unlikely to play. This one is almost etched in stone.

• When a player gets downgraded, he is unlikely to play.

• When a player gets upgraded, he is likely to play (unless it's from out to doubtful).

• Injuries like "turf toe" and "high-ankle sprain" sound innocent enough, but they're actually very serious ailments that can keep players out for several weeks (right, Isaac Bruce?).

• When a player says he's playing, that doesn't necessarily mean he's playing.

• When a coach says a player is playing, he's playing.

• In the rare event where a player doesn't practice all week but the coach insists on him being a game-time decision ... wake up early on Sundays and log on to CBS Sportsline.com for the scoop.

Fantasy vs. Reality

Quick observations about the misconceptions (Fantasy) and truths (Reality) during the week's action.

Fantasy: Without Owens, the Eagles won't be able to move the ball. OK that's true to some degree, but Donovan McNabb worked harder against the Redskins than he has against anyone else all season. Darting and dodging defenders, waiting for his man to get open and at times taking the Eagles and putting them on his back, McNabb did all the things a great quarterback does when his team needs him to win. Oh, by the way, McNabb's playing with a sports hernia, sore sternum and a million other problems, and Reggie Brown made Eagles fans say "Terrell who?"

Reality: Ben Roethlisberger is needed in Pittsburgh. Now. You know you're having trouble when the Green Bay Packers hold you to 65 yards passing and an interception. Charlie Batch may be back as the Steelers' temporary starter, but he sure proved why he's their No. 3 QB. Hines Ward, Heath Miller and Antwaan Randle El are going to be rough Fantasy picks so long as Batch is under center.

Fantasy: Michael Bennett's season is over. Nobody really had a clue that Mewelde Moore was going to share reps with Bennett this week, but after spraining his wrist in the fourth quarter, Moore could be sidelined and Bennett could be back as the main runner for the Vikings. Take one guess who will be picked up in every single league this week.

Reality: NFL teams still haven't solved Antonio Gates. The Chargers tight end recorded his third 100-yard game of the season and his third straight solid Fantasy outing. Take away an off week at Oakland in Week 6 and Gates has scored at least 10 points in reception-based leagues every game this season. Is there any doubt who the best tight end in the game is now?

Fantasy: Larry Johnson wears diapers. Filling in for an injured Priest Holmes, Johnson grinded out 107 rush yards and 48 receiving yards, running for two touchdowns, including a game winner vs. Oakland. This was the game Fantasy folks have been waiting for, and Johnson delivered magnificently. Forget the diapers -- get this guy an Armani suit. And a permanent starting job.

Reality: Cadillac has a flat. Since starting the season with 434 rushing yards and two TDs, Cadillac Williams has netted 62 yards and no scores. This has to be the most disappointing set of games for a running back who started so strong. And how come the Bucs aren't throwing to Williams more in the flat? Fantasy owners better relegate Williams to the bench sooner than later.

Fantasy: Mark Brunell is a must-start Fantasy QB. Since his big game vs. the Niners in Week 7, Brunell has been outscored in consecutive weeks by Anthony Wright, Chris Simms, David Carr and Trent Dilfer. I know a lot of you are hanging on to Brunell, but at this point it's best to simply play the matchups. Also, I think teams have figured out how to at least corral Santana Moss, and that's going to toughen things significantly for Brunell.

Reality: Andre Johnson is finally healthy and able to play to his ability. That's the good news; the bad news is that it took nine weeks to get there. His nine-catch, 91-yard game at Jacksonville confirms that his calf and knee are doing well. Using him in your lineup as a No. 2 receiver is definitely advised, and it could even help Domanick Davis once he's back in action.

Week 9 Highs and Lows
Your Fantasy team probably won if it looked like this:
QB Byron Leftwich 218 PaYds, PaTD; 10 RuYds, RuTD
RB LaDainian Tomlinson 107 RuYds, 3 RuTDs; 46 ReYds, ReTD
RB Shaun Alexander 173 RuYds, 2 RuTDs
WR Dennis Northcutt 31 RuYds; 80 ReYds, ReTD
WR Steve Smith 106 ReYds, ReTD
TE Antonio Gates 132 ReYds
PK Neil Rackers 4/4 FGs; 1/1 XPs
DST Panthers 14 PA, 1 DTD, 5 Sacks, 2 PaInts, 2 FumRecs
Your Fantasy team probably lost if it looked like this:
QB Charlie Batch 65 PaYds, PaINT; 14 RuYds
RB Carnell Williams 29 RuYds, FL; 25 ReYds
RB Marcel Shipp 20 RuYds; 4 ReYds
WR Joe Horn 27 ReYds
WR Brandon Lloyd 13 ReYds
TE L.J. Smith 10 ReYds
PK Jason Hanson 0/1 FGs, 2/2 XPs
DST San Francisco 24 PA

Strategy session

Should all 49ers players be removed from my roster?
As long as Cody Pickett, Alex Smith or Ken Dorsey are under center, the Niners receivers are useless (not that Johnnie Morton, Arnaz Battle or Brandon Lloyd were going to make or break your team). All three quarterbacks, for the time being, are finding time to play when they should be either backing up somebody or be holding a clipboard on the sideline. Smith is the one expected to be a contributor, but it's not going to happen this year. It would help if the Niners had a reliable tight end or two, but since they don't, their passing offense is in trouble.

What about their running game? Starter Kevan Barlow rushed for four yards Sunday against the Giants, whose defense is starting to really come along nicely. Barlow has a pair of decent games this year but has otherwise been worthy of a Fantasy benchwarmer. Rookie RB Frank Gore has done fairly well recently, averaging 5.3 yards per carry on the season, but he's a definite injury risk as both of his knees have been operated on. However, because the Niners are already looking to 2006, Gore could be the lone interest on the team as he should take over for Barlow in the near future.

The Niners defense looked decent early on against the Giants and they held their own against the Bucs, but using them at any point this season is just way too risky. Unless your Fantasy team has a death wish, leave the 49ers DST on the waiver wire. Also, PK Joe Nedney may be a reliable option, but with the Niners offense running like a cluster of turtles, his opportunities to kick are rare.

Which of the Week 9 running back surprises will last?
There should be no shortage of owners hoping to cash in on the waiver wire this week, especially if you're hunting for a running back. In order, here's how you should set your adds and drops:

Michael Bennett, MIN: Nobody saw Bennett coming back to play in Week 9, but he had a few more carries than Moore, who had been the Vikings' featured back, and rushed for 106 yards and took in a five-yard touchdown grab. With that kind of production, Fantasy owners can expect to see more of Bennett at least for a couple of weeks.

Cedric Benson, CHI: Thomas Jones reinjured his ribs at the Saints and missed the second half of the game. Benson came in and played like you'd expect a top-five draft pick to play. I was very impressed with Benson's balance, grit and acceleration, and the Bears should be fine using him. There's no word on Jones missing any time, but even if he plays in Week 10 Benson should get some reps.

Duce Staley, PIT: Staley looked hefty at Green Bay, but he still knows how to run. He replaced Willie Parker, who went down with an ankle injury, and ran for 76 yards and a TD with two receptions for nine yards. Staley is worth a flier but could be sat down if either Parker or Jerome Bettis are able to play vs. Cleveland in Week 10.

Greg Jones, JAC: Jones got the call when Fred Taylor went down with a sprained ankle and needed help getting off the field. If he's available in your league, Jones has proven that he can move the football for Jacksonville. Jones should go to the head of the class if you own Taylor.

Jonathan Wells, HOU: Wells has been a bruiser for Houston since their first year in the league and got the chance to play in Week 9 when Davis (knee) was inactive. He rushed for a touchdown and had 101 total yards, but might not see much more action if Davis is back soon. Like Jones, if you own Davis, Wells should move to the top of your shopping list.

J.J. Arrington, ARI: The Cardinals rookie runner finally had a decent game, totaling over 60 yards, and might move into a starting role soon as Marcel Shipp has played poorly and the Cardinals are heading towards another losing season.

Sam Gado, GB: Gado plowed for some yardage against the Steelers (62 yards, TD), but averaged 2.4 yards per rush and had a long of 10 yards. True, Pittsburgh is tough against the run, but that average is just brutal. Gado got the chance to play because Tony Fisher was inactive and starter ReShard Lee fumbled early and didn't see the field thereafter.

Brandon Jacobs, NYG: Everyone's going to see Jacobs and his two touchdowns, but the best comparison I can make for him is with Stacey Mack, who used to grab all the goal-line carries for Jacksonville a few years back. Jacobs will either deliver 12 points, six points or zero points each week. It's risky business going with him, but he's better than nothing.

Monday night matchup

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS AT NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
Kickoff: Monday, 9 p.m. ET, Gillette Stadium, Foxboro, Mass. Weather: Clear, 45 degrees. This is the game we've all been waiting to see, and I have a feeling it's not going to disappoint. Peyton Manning will probably face a defense that won't blitz as much as play against the pass, so don't expect a 300-yard game out of him. Can New England stack against the pass and stop Edgerrin James? I don't think so even with LB Tedy Bruschi; James is an obvious start. WR Marvin Harrison should do some damage, but trusting in WR Reggie Wayne or TE Dallas Clark is a bit of a stretch if Manning is going to throw into heavy coverage. This could be the game WR Brandon Stokley breaks out; if not, the time has come to cut him. Indianapolis DST is a must start even though the Patriots offense is pretty healthy. They're the reason why the Colts are 7-0, and they are going to be very pumped to play this game and prove what they're made of. That's going to make life tough for QB Tom Brady and RB Corey Dillon, but both should start. WR Deion Branch will test the Colts defense but he won't have a huge game. The Patriots could attack with their tight ends just to soften the center of the Cover-2 defense, so if you're thin at tight end, you could run Daniel Graham and/or Ben Watson up the flagpole. And if the Patriots are playing at home, PK Adam Vinatieri's got to be in somebody's starting lineup.

Parting shots

• I think the people who are questioning Michael Vick as a pocket passer should continue to do so. Vick chewed out the media for calling out his passing skills after throwing for a season-high 228 yards and a score at Miami, but he still has done very little to make people think he's a legit pocket presence. Vick has completed 60 percent or more of his passes twice this year, and he got hurt in one of those games. Meanwhile, Vick has continued to be a running QB, scrambling for 50 yards or more in four games with three rushing touchdowns. You tell me whether Vick is a runner first or a passer first. And worst of all, he's complaining that people are second-guessing his abilities. If I were Vick, I'd point to the NFC South standings and say "This is the only stat that matters." Vick is 29-13-1 as a starter for Atlanta; he's great for winning football games, not so much for taking on buddies in Fantasy Football.

• If the season ended today, the Bengals would not only make the playoffs, but they'd have a bye, too! I think we can put a bow on Carson Palmer's season and say that if you risked taking him in your draft, you made out like a bandit. The defense has been opportunistic but not unflappable, and everyone else on the squad has delivered to expectations. But you know a season is just plain silly when the Bengals are playoff-bound and the Packers are tied for the worst record in the league. How is Green Bay 1-7?! I knew going into the season that their defense would be their Achilles' heel, but the combination of season-ending injuries to skill-position players and a defense that can apparently stop only Charlie Batch has made Brett Favre look less like Superman and more like Jonathan Silverman. Call it a season, Green Bay, but feel free to jump on that Bengals bandwagon.

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