It's time to get some help. Maybe I will use a dartboard. Or pick names out of a hat. Or ask somebody's dog to make the picks, just not that evil-looking dog owned by Will Brinson.
That's how bad my picks were last week. I went 8-8 straight up and 5-11 against the spread. That's vulgar.
Picking games this season has been an adventure for me. The NFL loves the unpredictable ways of the league, but it makes it more of a challenge every year to pick these games.
I like to believe that Week 4 is when things start to crystallize, which means I am ready to make a move. It's time to get some right -- or at least get above .500.
The slate isn't great this week, but there are some good games, like the Oakland Raiders at the Denver Broncos and the Washington Redskins at the Kansas City Chiefs. I like the two home teams in those games. Then again, that might be good for the two roadies.
Just a word of caution for those who fade my picks: Week 4 is when I get it going. I promise.
Chicago at Green Bay
The Packers won a close one last week in overtime, while the Bears upset the Steelers. This will be a lot tougher for the Bears. The Packers have been banged up, but some of those players are expected back. Aaron Rodgers has a big day.
Pick: Packers 31, Bears 14
New Orleans vs. Miami in London
The Dolphins were dreadful Sunday against the Jets, and now must travel after being on the road twice to open the season. That's brutal. The Saints are playing on the road for a second consecutive week, so it evens out some. I think Miami will get back on track here and be able to move the football on the ground to keep Drew Brees off the field. Dolphins take it.
Pick: Dolphins 23, Saints 16
Buffalo at Atlanta
The Bills have allowed two touchdowns in three games, but they haven't seen an offense like this. The Falcons are as good as any offense in the league, and that will show up in this one. The Bills defense won't stand up.
Pick: Falcons 30, Bills 17
Pittsburgh at Baltimore
This is normally a physical war, but the Ravens are banged up and the Steelers haven't looked good in going 2-1. But this is the week the offense will look like the Steelers we expect to see. The Ravens are undermanned, and Joe Flacco simply doesn't look good.
Pick: Steelers 31, Ravens 10
Cincinnati at Cleveland
This is one of the dog games of the day, featuring two 0-3 teams. The Bengals are playing consecutive road games, but it won't matter here. This will be an ugly, tight game, but the Bengals take it. Barely.
Pick: Bengals 21, Browns 20
Los Angeles Rams at Dallas
The Rams are 2-1, but this is a tough challenge on the road. Dallas seemed to get right at Arizona on Monday night. The Rams have had troubles on defense, which is why I think Ezekiel Elliott gets it going here in a big way.
Pick: Cowboys 28, Rams 17
Tennessee at Houston
The Texans played well losing to the Patriots last week, and Deshaun Watson impressed. That's a good sign. The Titans are in first place after three weeks and won a slugfest against the Seahawks last week. Tennessee wants to run it, but I think the Texans slow them here and win it.
Pick: Texans 19, Titans 14
Detroit at Minnesota
The Lions lost a tough one to the Falcons and now must head out on the road to play a Vikings team that looked good beating the Bucs on Sunday. The Minnesota defense will slow the Lions on offense and either Case Keenum or Sam Bradford will make enough plays to win it.
Pick: Vikings 21, Lions 13.
Carolina at New England
The Panthers have been disjointed on offense all season long. But the Patriots have struggled on defense. This could be a chance for Cam Newton to get going. Even so, I think the Patriots will find a way behind Tom Brady. But it will be close.
Pick: Patriots 28, Panthers 24
Jacksonville at New York Jets
This is a be-careful game for the young Jaguars. They looked dominant last week beating the Ravens, but this will be a test coming back from London. The Jets were good on defense last week in their victory over Miami. This will be low scoring, but the Jaguars win it.
Pick: Jaguars 17, Jets 10
San Francisco at Arizona
The Cardinals have been hurt in a big way by injuries, and could easily be 0-3. But at 1-2, this is a must-have game for them. The 49ers will be scrappy in this one, but I think the Cardinals will find a way to get to .500.
Pick: Cardinals 23, 49ers 13
Philadelphia at Los Angeles Chargers
The Eagles have a long trip after a division game, which is tough. But the Chargers haven't looked good so far. Philip Rivers will be harassed all day long by that good Eagles front. The Eagles defense will dominate.
Pick: Eagles 24, Chargers 13
New York Giants at Tampa Bay
The Bucs had a terrible showing last week against the Vikings, and they are banged up. The Giants just haven't looked good all season and will be playing consecutive road games. Even so, I think the Giants will hang around in this one. Bucs win a close one.
Pick: Bucs 23, Giants 21
Oakland at Denver
This should be a heck of a game, but Oakland is playing consecutive road games. That's always tough. They didn't look good against the Redskins last week, which is a concern. Denver lost for the first time to the Bills, but expect them to be better in the thin air at Mile High.
Pick: Broncos 28, Raiders 23
Indianapolis at Seattle
This was supposed to be Andrew Luck against Russell Wilson, but it's Jacoby Brissett against the Legion of Boom. Brissett played well last week against the Browns, but this is a big step up in talent. The Seahawks have to be steaming at 1-2. This is when they start to turn it around. Blowout.
Pick: Seahawks 31, Colts 10
Washington at Kansas City
The Chiefs are riding high as one of the two remaining undefeated teams, while Washington was impressive beating Oakland Sunday night. This will be a real challenge for the Redskins going to Arrowhead and I think the Chiefs defense will get the best of Kirk Cousins. Chiefs stay undefeated.
Pick: Chiefs 26, Redskins 17