Any future Super Bowl winners thinking about giving a speech Jason Kelce did on Thursday.might want to go ahead and just pass on that option because there's no way they're going to top what
In what can only be described as a half-victory speech, half-WWE promo and all amazing, the Eagles offensive lineman went on a five-minute tirade that made everyone in Philly want to run through a wall.
play Jason Kelce's speech at my funeral— m (@mariedonovan_) February 8, 2018
Jason Kelce delivered the best speech anyone’s ever heard since Bill Pullman in Independence Day.— Mikey D, O&BP 🤙🏼 (@MikeyD_OandBP) February 8, 2018
First, we probably should've know the speech was coming when Kelce decided to show up to the parade dressed like a genie, or more accurately, a mummer suit.
While on the parade route, Kelce went absolutely nuts. Not only did he ride a bike ...
... But at one point, he led the crowd in a profanity-laced song that you can hear by clicking here.
Once the parade came to its final stop at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, that's when things got crazy. Kelce got in front of the microphone and described how everyone in the Eagles organization was an underdog, starting with general manager Howie Roseman, who was cast aside just five years ago when Chip Kelly was hired.
"Howie Roseman, a few years ago, was relinquished of all control in this organization," Kelce said. "He was put in the side of the building where I didn't see him for over a year. Two years ago, when they made a decision, he came out of there a different man. He came out of there with a purpose and a drive to make this possible, and I saw a different Howie Roseman, an underdog."
Apparently, Kelce had been planning to compliment Roseman in person, but later decided that telling the entire world instead would be better.
Word from the Philly guys is that Jason Kelce was up until 3 am working on that beautiful opus. He had been meaning to tell Howie Roseman what he said about him for weeks, but figured he’d save it for the parade in front of millions instead. @Eagles @gmfb @nflnetwork— Peter Schrager (@PSchrags) February 8, 2018
After that, Kelce had some words for Eagles coach Doug Pederson.
"Doug Pederson. When Doug Pederson was hired, he was rated as the worst coaching hire by a lot of fricking analysts in the media," Kelce said. "This past offseason, some clown named Mike Lombardi told him that he was the least qualified head coach of the NFL. You saw a driven Doug Pederson, a man who went for it on fourth down with a trick play ... He was playing for a Super Bowl and it doesn't stop with him."
Michael Lombardi, who is a former NFL GM, had no problem being called out during Kelce's speech.
Look, I deserve what Kelce said, I was wrong and he is right.— Michael Lombardi (@mlombardiNFL) February 8, 2018
Kelce then went on.
"We were a bunch of underdogs, and you know what an underdog is? It's a hungry dog," Kelce said. "And [Eagles offensive line coach] Jeff Stoutland has had this in our building for five years, it's a quote in the O-line room that has stood on the wall for the past five years, 'Hungry dogs run faster.' And that's this team."
Again, no one should try to top this speech ever.
"Bottom line is: We wanted it more. All the players, all the coaches," Kelce said. "The front office, [owner] Jeffrey Lurie, everyone wanted it more, and that's why we're up here today and that's why we're the first Eagles team to hold the [Lombardi] trophy."
Kelce then went on to thank the hundreds of thousands of Eagles fans who showed up for the parade.
"For 52 years, y'all have been waiting for this," Kelce said to the fans. "You want to talk about an underdog? You want to talk about a hungry dog? For 52 years, you've been starved of a championship."
Oh, and if you've ever wondered why Eagles fans can sometimes be mean, Kelce explained.
"Everybody wonders why we're so mean, everybody wonders why the Philadelphia Eagles aren't the nicest fans," Kelce said. "If I don't eat breakfast, I'm f---ing pissed off. No one wanted us, no one liked this team, no analysts like this team to win the Super Bowl and nobody likes our fans."
Finally, Kelce ended with a rousing note that had everyone at the parade going nuts.
"You know what I got to say to all those people that doubted us, to all those people who counted us out and to all those people who said we couldn't get it done, what my man Jay Ajayi just said, "F--- 'em,'" Kelce said.
The Eagles offensive lineman then started singing his favorite song again.
"We're from Philly, f---ing Philly No one likes us, we don't care."
You can see the video of Kelce's speech below, but that's missing a few bad words. If you want to hear the uncensored audio, be sure to click here.