PETA called animal control to 'please seize' Dez Bryant's pet monkey
PETA, the animal organization, wants Dez Bryant to get rid of his pet monkey. So they called the cops on him.
By
Will Brinson
•
1 min read
PETA is, rather ironically, full of rats. The infamous organization hell bent on protecting animal rights through splashy publicity stunts made noise in football circles on Monday morning when they swung in and told the cops about Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant owning a pet monkey.
No, you did not accidentally land on an Onion story. Bryant posted a picture of his pet monkey on Instagram in late October. On Monday PETA sent a release including a letter they sent to DeSoto Animal Control asking them to "please seize" Bryant's monkey.
"I am writing on behalf of PETA to request that DeSoto Animal Control immediately investigate the possible illegal possession of an infant capuchin monkey by Dallas Cowboys football player Dez Bryant," PETA wrote in a letter. "An October 2 news report indicates that Bryant, who apparently lives in DeSoto, may have acquired an infant capuchin monkey. If he is found to be in illegal possession of this monkey, please seize the monkey and ensure that he or she is placed in a reputable sanctuary. PETA stands ready to assist with the placement of the animal."
There is actually a code making possession of monkeys illegal in DeSoto, so this request by PETA -- unlike most requests from PETA -- actually makes some sense. Bryant isn't allowed to own a monkey just because he's a professional football player.
Besides, the monkey could end up suffering from "boredom and depression" as PETA alleges.
"Capuchin monkeys are intelligent, curious, and highly social animals who naturally live in large groups," PETA wrote. "A human home denies them mental stimulation and opportunities for social interaction with other monkeys, which can lead to boredom and depression. Monkeys are wild animals, and as such, they can become frustrated, aggressive, and difficult to control as they get older—and they can and will bite humans."
But, like every instance with PETA, it feels largely like a publicity stunt. And there's not much worse than calling the authorities and then sending out a press release to tell everyone you did.
