|Jones is probably thrilled about his litigious fans. (US Presswire)|
America sure is full of some stupid, litigious people isn't it? One of the most notable incidents is the lady who sued McDonald's because their coffee was too hot (although it's not the only time Ronald's gotten tagged with a ridiculous lawsuit), but we've got a close cousin that was recently filed in Tarrant County, Texas, against the Cowboys and owner Jerry Jones.
A woman named Jennelle Carrillo is suing the team and Jerrah because, while attending the Blue and Silver scrimmage in August of 2010, she sat down on a bench outside Cowboys Stadium and suffered third-degree burns on her buttocks.
"Prior to entering the seated area of Cowboys stadium, plaintiff sat down on a black, marble bench outside of and near entrance 'E' to the stadium," the lawsuit reads. "The bench was uncovered and openly exposed to the extremely hot August sun. The combination of the nature of the black, marble bench and hot sunlight caused the bench to become extremely hot and unreasonably dangerous."
Breaking news everyone: if you're in Texas in the summer and you see a marble bench exposed to the sunlight for several hours, it could be hot. Carrillo obviously didn't get that memo, sat down and allegedly torched her cheeks.
"As a result of sitting on the bench, plaintiff suffered third degree burns to her buttocks," the lawsuit reads.
I feel for Carrillo, because getting your fanny stuck in a toaster doesn't sound fun. But at the same time, her lawsuit is dependent on the fact that the "Defendants knew or reasonably should have known that the material used to construct the bench would become unreasonably hot when exposed to the August sun." And ... she shouldn't have had that thought I suppose.
Also, did she sit down and get stuck? Or did the bench immediately burn through whatever clothes she was wearing? Or maybe she wasn't wearing clothes? And why did she wait until 2012 to file this lawsuit?
The broader point here, though, is that of course the bench was hot. This is like suing your stove when you set your hand on fire trying to pull a cookie sheet out of the oven barehanded.
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