The Rays and Yankees are scheduled for a Tuesday match of baseball, and per CBS New York it's cold and wet in New York City, where the two teams shall meet. Those atmospheric conditions and perhaps the general milieu of having nothing left to lose have led Rays center fielder/consenting adult Kevin Kiermaier to make the following Personal Business Decision ... 

Mr. Kiermaier is listed at 6-foot-1, 215 pounds, so whole-body coverage -- to which he reportedly aspires -- will require a lot of Vaseline. I Googled "world's largest container of lube," and found my way to this piece in a maritime trade magazine about providing marine lube for a quite sizable Honk Kong-based container ship. Give it a read. Anyhow, back to Kiermaier ... 

Fair enough. Runners do this sort of thing, at least on their exposed parts. One message board posting declares that doing so "keeps your nose from growing frost crystals in the arctic." 

At this point, though, we have a plot twist. Prepare to be gobsmacked ... 

Hmm. Perhaps because of Excessive Internet Enthusiasm, Kiermaier "forgot" to put vaseline all over his entire body, as he previously said he was going to do. The lesson, folks, is that if someone says he's going to play baseball in a vaseline jumpsuit, then don't talk about until after it's happened, lest you spook him out of it. Now let us move forward, disappointed and not as uplifted as we could've been had Kevin Kiermaier made himself Greasy for Baseball.